The Enormous Fee
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-25-2000)

Once upon a time
I knew this pretty girl
Who became my distinction
Between day and night
Reworked and formed my world

I fully believed
That she was the one
The perfect solution to a broken heart
A new source of distraction and fun

I put my trust
Into her open arms
But at the same time she pushed me away
Rejection melded with charm

It was so hard to let her go
It was so painful to leave
It took a lot of failed attempts to finally realize
She would never do anything but deceive

I was convinced
After all she put me through
That I would never meet anyone worth my time
No matter what I would do

Sometimes it isn’t so easy
To go towards the light
The dark side holds so much temptation
And sometimes you hold on too tight

A few short months later
I met this new girl
A new interest was invented
Something new in a otherwise old broken world

It is now so hard for me
To trust another soul
And I’m scared to feel myself grow attached
To who could turn out to be just as cold

But the weeks have gone by
And the time that we spend
Has made me care for her so much
It has helped my heart to mend

She seems so different
Apart from them all
She has been there for me so far
I never thought that in love she would fall

I touch her soft skin
And I remember how it feels
To care for another and give a new chance
And start to grease the wheels

Though I do have some worry
That she will disappear
That she may not feel the way she says
And that she may only pretend to care

Time will tell
And it does feel strong
And I hope, hope, hope
That this will last real long

For I feel myself loving her
I want to tell her all the time
I’m only scared I will scare her away
This is the battle in my mind

Every time she pulls me close
And I feel our hearts beat together
I forget about my past of painful endings
And I start to feel much better

Right now I miss you
I hope you are thinking of me
And I hope this time I can grasp this love
Without the enormous fee

Torture
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-15-1999)

Shock him again
This is a test to see how much
Pain this boy can take

Cover his mouth with your hand
Make sure no cries spill out
Strap him to the table

Pull the curtains down
Only a select few bear witness
Please remain silent while you stare

Twist his finger back
To expose the bone
And throw salt on the wound

Push needles under his finger nails
Ice picks in his side
He is still alive so we must continue

Slice off each eyelid
So he cannot close his eyes
And miss out on any of this show

A muscle twitches
Pinch the nerve
Lock it off so the movement stops

No one wants to see him cry
Throw saw dust in his eyes
To absorb the tears

Hand me those pliers
Here comes the finale
All of his teeth twisted out of his head

That god awful moan
Causing moral questions to arise
Cut out his tongue, problem solved

Don’t beat him to hard with that stick
Don’t hit him too hard with that brick
Now you have gone too far he is dead

The show is over everyone go home

Another Show Of Emotion
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-28-2003)

Its 12 am, the world is dead
Scared to release the thoughts in my head
A sudden rush of familiar pain
Pushes towards me through the rain

I hang my head as the show begins
I begin to review and judge my sins
To you I am just another ghost
Who acted a little more psychotic than most

I rub my eyes until they’re red
I glance over at my empty bed
I’m still alone, inside I’m scared
With no visible marks to the pain I’ve bared

Sitting amidst the ashes and rust
I reach towards your memory but it turns to dust
You quickly pass through and leave your mark
But your body is twisted and your face is dark

I touch my chest feel my heart beat
I hear racing engines out in the street
I look out the window to find what I knew
There is no one around and I can’t see you

Your absence still causes me pain and sorrow
I wonder will I see you with each new tomorrow
But the further we pass from our strongest day
The more and more you manage to pull away

I begin to cry for reasons unknown
Regretting the weakness in the weakness I’ve shown
Believing things would have turned out all right
If I hadn’t held on to you so tight

Its 1 am and the sky is cold
The lies I believed are getting old
Your angelic face haunts me ‘till dawn
I remember you left me standing out on the lawn

I wish I had the power to change the past
To turn your heart and make our love last
To bring you back this time you would stay
And when I said that I loved you, you also would say

Wiping the tears away from my face
I put away memories I cannot replace
You’re a part of me now and its killing me to know
That as strong as I loved you, you still had to go

But here you are now, back on your own
You have taught me another lesson, I have grown
I have learned that you cannot be the one for me
And I wonder why it took so long to see

You didn’t show love and I know you don’t care
You always kept me lonely, you were never here
You pushed me down and then turned away
You had no restraint in the things you would say

But with all that I say and know to be true
I cannot deny that I still cherish you
I still need your touch and I still seek your heart
And it still hurts me to be alive while we are apart

Where are you now, are you thinking of me?
Are you thinking of what I hoped we would be
Or are you out doing what you seem to do best
Twisting the knife in another unsuspecting chest

Absent
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-29-2003)

What about the times that I never let you down
Do they mean anything to you at all
And here I am still thinking of you
Wishing you would call

And how about the way I looked at you
And told you how I felt
I still care after all of this time
After all the lies you dealt

I ask myself in the dead of the silence
Why can’t I let go
Love cannot explain it all
So I honestly do not know

Close the door as you leave me again
Don’t you feel, do you care
I need you now but it seems as how
When I needed you, you weren’t there

Safe in another’s arms tonight
Is this your simple plan
To never realize or get it together
And jump from man to man to man

I guess what it comes down to as sad as it may be
Is that I would give up all I own
To have you, to hold on tight through the night
And for once make your true feeling known

Another day approaches your memory will ease
Not fade just get put away
And the more time that passes I’ll start to believe
That I shouldn’t trust in a word that you say

A Light Shines Through The Door
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-29-2003)

Once alone I called out to you
Or anyone for that matter, that I thought could be true
And when the truth finally shined, it dawned onto me
That certain things just aren’t meant to be

I pulled you close, but you pulled away
And it didn’t really matter how I felt or what I had to say
It seemed you were lost and I just could not find
The keys to get into your boarded up mind

Now you are gone and I’ve had time to move on
I’ve started to heal and now I am strong
Though your memories faded I sometimes feel blue
Because once in a while I find myself missing you

So I close off my heart, as the old story goes
I wait for a new love, but nobody shows
And just when I decide there just aren’t anymore
A new love comes smiling and shining through my door