A cup to quench my sorrows

By Shawn Petrie-Hallen
1-29-2016

How can you compare loss and hate
When the two things so closely relate
To one another without debate
In a twisted conformist violent state

How can you compare pain and grief
Standing alone in disbelief
Begging for mercy from the agony chief
Alone on this day of cold reprieve

How can you compare trust and love
When the skies look empty up above
And behind your back you can feel the shove
And the punishment fits you like a glove

September 1, 2023 0

a common man

By Shawn Petrie-hallen
3-23-1999

TIME AND TIME AGAIN
YOU TOLD ME HOW YOU CARED
ONE DAY I WASN’T LOOKING
TURNED AROUND, YOU WEREN’T THERE

WITH ALL THE LOVE YOU HAD FOR ME
I NEVER MADE MINE KNOWN
AND THOUGH I’VE ALWAYS FELT THE SAME
MY HEART WAS NEVER SHOWN

AND SINCE MY PAIN IS GROWING STRONG
I REALIZE THE TRUTH
THAT I’VE NEVER FELT A LOVE SO STRONG
AND I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU

I WISH I KNEW THE ANSWER TO
THE ONLY QUESTION ON MY MIND
WHY FATHERS RAISE SONS OF SELFISH PRIDE
AND SEND THEM INTO THE WORLD BLIND

BUT STILL I TRY AS ALL MEN DO
TO MAKE UP FOR LOST YEARS
BUT THE SCALES NEVER SEEM TO BALANCE OUT
AND ITS THE TOUGH WHO CRY THE MOST TEARS

September 1, 2023 0

1000 years

by shawn petrie-hallen
2-5-2018

for 1,000 years i’ve been
sitting here, all alone
with my mind on fire
waiting to be set free

what more is there for me
after all the running around
after all the countless hours
after all the tears

at the end of 1000 years

for the longest night
i’ve been laying awake
wondering why i cannot rest
1000 nights frustrated

like all of you that i look upon
all routines so flawless
where will i end up once i have emptied
the last drip of sanity from my cup

my mind is filled with fright
for this and all of my remaining nights
from this monent forward
for 1000 years

September 1, 2023 0

Cell Flower By: Shawn D. Petrie

Cell Flower
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-4-2016)

trapped in a cage
four walls
some bars some rage
built up like a spring
not meaning anything

hatred and hurt
spoils the truth
making it impossible
to escape

sentenced by my peers
whom know not what they do
whom know not all the facts
acting on their rage

pushed by the ones in control
the innocent rot into dust in this hell
crooked fingers point
never knowing what’s the point

but still they find satisfaction
in sentencing the damned
in forcing others to pay for their own sins
as they are too fearful to face them

but down in the gallows of fire
revenge does all but retire
it waits, patiently
to paint these walls red with the accusers blood

and watch the cell flowers then blossom
born rich with the red pain and tears
embedded with the torment and fears
thick with the cruelty they live for

these walls won’t hold innocence

anymore

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4-4-2016)

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April 4, 2016 0

NO ONE CARES BY: SHAWN D. PETRIE

NO ONE CARES
BY: SHAWN D. PETRIE (4-20-1999)

NO ONE CARES
NOT LIKE I DO
NO ONE WANTS
THE LIFE I STILL CHOOSE

IF ONLY THERE WAS
A WAY TO DECIDE,
WHICH ROAD TO TAKE
I WOULD NOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW

PUT POLITENESS ASIDE
BE REAL, SHOW WHAT YOU FEEL
EVEN IF WHAT YOU FEEL IS NOTHING,
NOTHING IS REAL

NO ONE CARES
THE TRUTH MAKES ME HURT
THERE IS NOTHING I COULD IMAGINE
THAT COULD BE WORSE

THE POWERFUL STAY HUNGRY
AND TAKE WHAT THEY WANT
WHILE THE SHY CONTINUE TO ROT

NO ONE CARES
AND NOW I CAN SEE
THAT THE UNCARING HATE
IS BUILDING IN ME

I WISH I WAS DEAD
SO THE PAIN WOULD ALL STOP
I WISH I WAS YOU,
YOU ARE GLAD I AM NOT

NO ONE CARES
NEITHER DO I
WHEN I SURRENDER TO THE TRUTH
IT MAKES ME CRY

WHAT I WANT IS NOT REAL
I USED TO THINK IT WAS
NOW I AM OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW
I HAVE BECOME MY OWN FINAL MEAL

TO HELL WITH YOU ALL NO ONE CARES

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-8-2016)

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February 8, 2016 0

Never Enough By: Shawn D. Petrie

Never Enough
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-12-2005)

A new sensation growing slowly in my head
Many questions go unanswered and I never feel content
A simple little story no one really needs to notice
Where I’m at or where I’m going it is none of your concern

These tiny little walls are coming closer every day
I feel I’m wasting all my time, it never goes away
Nothing I can do will ever make me feel ok
I look around and find that I have nothing in this place

It’s clear to see I’ll never make it out of here
I’m suffocating all alone and no one seems to care
There has to be a way for me to finally make it through
But you have got me so confused I don’t know what to do

Ease up off me, Lighten up your grip
Release your claws, Call back the dogs
Why take so much, So much to gain
Why play at all, To win your game

One time is never enough
Two times is never enough
10 times is never enough
Every fucking time is never enough

When all this started I was immature and weak
But so much time has passed and now I’m feeling incomplete
What used to satisfy me now is just outside my reach
With all I’ve given up for you, what’s in it for me

I just don’t see how things are ever gonna change
Every things so boring and I need to get away
I have spent so many years hoping for the best
But it is over and I fear that I have failed the test

There are so many things that I would like to try
But it seems that all you want to do is hold me ‘till I die
Anything that you could want is now within your reach
While everything I want to be is just outside of me

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-8-2016)

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February 8, 2016 0

INTO SPACE By: Shawn D. Petrie

INTO SPACE
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-2-1995)

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
A TIME FOR SWEET RELIEF
THE END OF MANKIND
A STOP TO THE RACE
THE DISTANT COMPLICATIONS
BLAST INTO SPACE

TODAY WAS THE DAY
I LEFT IT ALL BEHIND
TO BE WHAT I WAS BORN TO BE
TO RISE ABOVE
THIS COLD IMMORTAL PLACE
THE DISTANT COMPLICATIONS
BLAST INTO SPACE

SOMEDAY SOON
THIS ALL WILL BE FORGOTTEN
THE LIFE I’VE GROWN TIRED OF
AND ILL STEP INTO A WORLD
I CAN SEE A NEW PLACE
THE DISTANT COMPLICATIONS
BLAST INTO SPACE

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

Not even pain By: Shawn D. Petrie

Not even pain
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-20-2000)

I close my eyes
Lock off my heart
Show you a love
That’s burdened in part

I look for the truth
Answer these lies
Give you excuses
And look in your eyes

You turn back once more
Push me away
Never do you ever
Want me to stay

On with your games
Play with my mind
Pretend You don’t care
Believe I am blind

I am over you now
Once again I’m the same
Nothing lasts forever
Not even pain

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

No Intent By: Shawn D. Petrie

No Intent
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-12-2002)

It’s the dead of winter
And my eyes are frozen
Stuck on you
For the life of me
Cant figure out why
You haven’t yet
Passed the test

This heart
Lost in me forever
Cold and dead inside
You tried and I tried
But neither of us cried

It’s the last great feeling
And its soon to disappear
Alone with you
For the final straw
To break the back
of this machine
And return the old to new

This heart
Lost in me forever
Cold and dead on the inside
You tried and I tried
But neither of us cried

Lay back and smile at the sky
Take pity on this disaster
The end is near
The world forgets
Just who we are
Out of this misery
That you and I share

This heart
Lost in me forever
Cold and dead on the inside
You tried and I tried
And now out hearts may die

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

Neanderthal (dawn of destruction) By: Shawn D. Petrie

Neanderthal (dawn of destruction)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-12-1994)

Time gone back, infinity ago
Back to when the cold winds would blow
There was a mass of land, air and sea
Blinding light filtered down through the trees

A ruler of earth shot down from above it all
He was naked and hairy except for a shall
Sent to control the land, sea and air
Alone with a pre-damaged mind, no emotions to care

Like a jack in the box he destroyed all the land
He polluted the air and soiled the sand
He needed a job and some kind of boss
To make up for this worlds new great loss

The punishment due would be given too soon
He will be sent up to the deoxidized moon
And pay for all the unwarranted destruction
Poked and probed during an alien abduction

Generations grew and generations bloomed

Slowly destroying the mother earth once more
Making the gods regret life once more
One day there will be no more black
And the vile treatment we have given to this planet

Will all be given right back

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

NEVER By: Shawn D. Petrie

NEVER
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-13-1995)

I’LL THROW MYSELF AWAY
BECAUSE I FEEL THE ANGER
PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER
FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN

LOOK INTO MY EYES
CAN’T YOU SEE I’VE CRIED
YOU CHASED AWAY THE HEART
I HOLD SO DEARLY INSIDE

DON’T SAY YOU UNDERSTAND
THATS THE PERFECT LIE
I COULD NOT FORCE YOU TO FEEL
COULD NOT PAY YOU TO CRY

BUT WE WILL SOON BE EQUAL
FEEL THE WAY I DO
NEVER YOU SAY, NOT RIGHT MY FRIEND
BECAUSE THAT’S JUST NOT THE TRUTH

I’LL NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHY I FEEL SO ALONE
IT’S LIKE I’M THE ONLY ONE
WHO SENSES ALL THE COLD

THE PROBLEMS THAT I’LL HAVE TO FACE
WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE ME WEAK
AND THE FUTURE IT SEEMS FOR ALL OF US
IS DARK, COLD, AND BLEAK

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

My place By: Shawn D. Petrie

My place
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-03-2006)

Where do i belong in this world
Have i no right to exist
Was i a mistake
Maybe i do not have a soul
I feel so alone
But a touch brings me back
When a soft hand touches me
I feel so calm
I close my eyes
I dont know if it matters
Who the touch is from
I dont know whats in my head
That has made my life go wrong
The coldness of this room
Tightens all my muscles
I feel as though ill panic
When i look and find no faces
When i call out your name
Im talking to myself
Remembering a time
When i mastered this hatefull lonliness

Back where i began
But so much worse off inside
I have what i need
But i do not have what i want
Because what i want
Is too much what i need
And this need clouds my thoughts
It makes me feel strange
I feel out of control
Racing inside a dead cell
Nowhere to go, no escape
My wheels are spinning
The black smoke is hurting my eyes
I would give it all for a door
Give me a door that leads to a future
Somewhere with someone i love
Someone who loves me
When they say foever
It means it trhough and through
No games, lies, or lack of trust, just us

Holding hands so tight
The love that keeps us warm
Dosent matter how cold it is
Dosent matter whats going on around us
We are one and we are special
I make you feel special and
You make me feel special
And this feeling is never ignored
Never taken for granted again
I have learned what i had
And that i couldn’t see it
I never thought she would go
She said she would never go
Natural for me to trust
After so many years
So shocking was that day
She left me in our bed
Something is missing inside my head
I was made to feel alone
So when i am alone
I cannot be alone

But still i am alone
And the words they do not stick
And it dosent really matter
The conversations
The looks
The helping hands
Im still alone at night
When i only want one thing
To hold my woman tight
And through the night this time
I will not let her go
I will not let things slide
I will not forget to show
Just how much i love her
And just how much she means
What she does for me
And how i need her love
And how i need her help
Adn how i need her touch
To put me back in place