– Break Up – By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-12-1999)

Break Up
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-12-1999)

Why do you lie
And carry on with a sigh
Yes I am a guy
But you still made me cry

Why did you hurt
And say all of those lies
With how you just left me
I wish I would die

For once in my life
I loved someone else
But you put my heart
At arms length on your shelf

I think in your mind
Love will come and go
But I was never like that
But you didn’t want to know

I thought that you could love
Although you never spoke
And when the ending words finally came
I felt like I was choking

I feel bitter depression
You didn’t have the right
To play with my emotions
I guess you’ll just look for a new session

For gods sake do not do this
To any more unsuspecting men
I will see to it
That you do not do this again

All you want
You put into them
You do not love
And you never will

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November 9, 2015 0

– Boiling Point – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-14-2015)

Boiling Point
By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-14-2015)

Cannot breathe
Lips go numb
Eyes sparkle inside
Blood boils behind my cheeks
Teeth grind away
Finger nails dig in
As I make the tightest fist

Want to scream
But cannot
Can only grit my teeth
Boiling down in my gut
Re-opening all the old cuts
Runs red inside the mind
Twisting inside

Tears sting
Wipe away years of progress
Regress back into it
What was once forgotten
Lost in the lie
Been so many years
I once again remember

Where’s my boiling point

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November 9, 2015 0

– After The Pain – By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-2-1995)

After The Pain
By: Shawn Petrie (11-2-1995)

Today I said I loved you
But you turned me from your door
That was something you promised me
You would never do, you swore

You lift me from the dark below
From the black that I reside
To put me in your comfortable place
And make me feel empty inside

And that final day I saw you
I just thought I’d die
Because all my forgotten love came back
And it hurt so bad I cried

But I hear that’s what you wanted
And I wanted to change to be
A man to be desired and loved
But you could never change for me

So as my mental pictures fade
Slip and crack away
I want you to know I’ll always love you
But never forgive the things you say

The future for me seems set
Although not very bright
You will never know the pain I feel
When I think of you at night

But I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be
I was just one of your flings
But I fall in love so easily
And that’s just one of my things

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November 9, 2015 0

– Alone Another Night – By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-14-2004)

Alone Another Night
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-14-2004)

I hate the thought of being alone
I didn’t want you to go, and I told you so
it’s now clear, I’m starting to see
you shine in the pain you inflict on me

my hearts as empty as these empty halls
which lead to empty rooms
having you here would paint the walls with light
don’t let me be alone tonight

but you left me here in the bitter cold
you made me feel tired and old
with only my shadow on the wall
sitting by the phone waiting for your call

I close my eyes and remember you
all my fears are coming true
I beg and plead for you to stay
you always seem to pull away

I will pretend to smile now
while you twist the knife in my heart
you’re a dirty stain on my life
and now I want you out of it

I don’t wanna wake up in the morning light
live another day to see your face
the hope that i had that you’d come back
was just a dream and now it’s turned to black

the curtains close, you killed the dream
a waste of time, not what you seem
the sooner I forget your wicked lies
the sooner ill get to dry my eyes

just when I thought, I was dead
the thought of love pushed from my head
something I never, seen before
someone who could offer more
shining light through my door
everything I wanted, all and more
perfection in front of me
and now blessed is the day you stepped away

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November 9, 2015 0

– Another Chance – By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-2-2007)

Another Chance
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-2-2007)

Giving up on a recent hope
An idea that i could settle
Land on a new and happy place
Someone new to hold my hand

There were just too many things
Gone wrong and going wrong
Did i help create the chaos
Did she also to contribute

And the tears fell
And the heart was broken
The dreams pushed just a little further
From the plans of the parties

I did my best this time
I did not deceive
I could not go on
Without that feeling inside

Will i have another chance
Am is so in the wrong
And i such a bad person
Do i deserve what i ruined

I keep on trying
I keep on looking
Avery corner is cold and dark
Then i run into something on the way

With little hope that it will work
Already so many things don’t work
Needing to adjust my life
Needing to find a new wife

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November 9, 2015 0

– Always The Same – By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-12-2000)

Always the same
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-12-2000)

In a world that feels as cold as ice
I cling to those who treat me nice
But that almost always ends in pain
Everyone just keeps playing there games

There was a time I would hate just to spite
The people who hurt me, the ones I would fight
The ones who would leave me always alone
Only shortly after my true feelings have shown

Can’t anyone look, realize just like me
That life’s already hard and not as it should be
My friends and my foes I delicately arrange
All the time wishing, hoping for change

You sit in your place and you seem up so high
I wish you could feel this and notice my cries
I only just wanted to see us the same
But were saying goodbye before saying our names

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November 9, 2015 0

– An Ending – By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-11-2004)

An Ending By: Shawn Petrie (11-11-2004)

When I asked where you were going
You replied with one simple answer
You said that you’d be going away.

Forever

You turned away and closed your eyes
My blood ran cold with your next few words
You said you couldn’t stand another day.

Together

I helped you pack because i was strong
I’m not supposed to show the pain
We split up all the things we bought.

Together

And when you left i died inside
It was then that i began to cry
And i knew that i would be alone.

Forever

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November 8, 2015 0

– A taste of life – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-31-2006)

A taste of life
By: Shawn Petrie (10-31-2006)

As I sit here alone
Remembering what we had
That pain that wells inside of me
Is almost too much to bear

But i must sit with it
I must live with it
What else can i do
Suicide was not for me

The hardest part has passed
So i know that i am strong
Even though i do not want to be
And wish that i had terminated my self

There’s a bitter taste
Of what i used to have
What i thought i would never loose
What i trusted and depended on

The taste is making me sick
As i try to wash it out
It will never go away
And it gets more rancid every day

Of course it wasn’t perfect
But it was what we had
And it was always you and me
Then one day it was not

And ill never know what happened
What turned you once and for all
What thought you got in your head
Or who look at you with lust

Who looks better than me
Or you think can offer more
They will never love you like i do
And they will never take care of you like i did

I lost what i had
Or maybe it was taken
Or maybe it was never really there
But it was for sure a taste of life

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November 8, 2015 0

– A shade of hope – By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2004)

A shade of hope
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2004)

I rub my eyes, I need sleep
A dive into a peaceful dream
Without rejection, tears and pain
A perfect place in my brain
A world where people, truly care
And you can count on them to keep you near
Common is security, a safe tomorrow
No debt to pay, for the smiles I’ve borrowed

A shade of hope, I can see
It helps me cope, it helps me breath
It pulls me closer, to my dream
Pushes me when, I forget to believe
We all must want to make this real
Take actions on the things we feel
Rise above pain and hate
Never believe that it’s too late

But I’m still alone, who else cares
Who else dreams of that place out there
Who else wants this world of new
Who else wants to make it true
Light through my window is shining on me
Through my front door I awake to see
We have been given, one more chance
To create true harmony, the perfect dance

To make a change, to make it last
Move away from our painful past
Pull ourselves closer to a better day
Learn from what history has to say
I step into, this new day
I try to put those dreams away
And focus on what can be done
To create a life where we all have won

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November 8, 2015 0

– A COMMON MAN – By: Shawn D. Petrie (3-23-1999)

A COMMON MAN
By: Shawn Petrie (3-23-1999)

TIME AND TIME AGAIN
YOU TOLD ME HOW YOU CARED
ONE DAY I WASN’T LOOKING
TURNED AROUND, YOU WEREN’T THERE

WITH ALL THE LOVE YOU HAD FOR ME
I NEVER MADE MINE KNOWN
AND THOUGH I’VE ALWAYS FELT THE SAME
MY HEART WAS NEVER SHOWN

AND SINCE MY PAIN IS GROWING STRONG
I REALIZE THE TRUTH
THAT I’VE NEVER FELT A LOVE SO STRONG
AND I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU

I WISH I KNEW THE ANSWER TO
THE ONLY QUESTION ON MY MIND
WHY FATHERS RAISE SONS OF SELFISH PRIDE
AND SEND THEM INTO THE WORLD BLIND

BUT STILL I TRY AS ALL MEN DO
TO MAKE UP FOR LOST YEARS
BUT THE SCALES NEVER SEEM TO BALANCE OUT
AND ITS THE TOUGH WHO CRY THE MOST TEARS

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November 5, 2015 0

– Another Moment – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-17-2006)

Another Moment
By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-17-2006)

So fragile and weak
Can’t rely on anger anymore
Any moment could be the one
From which I wont return

Up and down my emotions go
I miss you so damn much
Trying not to blame myself
But i see so many faults

I wanted to be perfect for you
For our hearts to heal together
You promised me your love
You promised me forever

But the things we said that day
Mean nothing in this emptiness
That i occupy alone
And it is so agonizing

I remember your face
And every single touch
And everything I hated
And everything i loved

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November 3, 2015 0

– After My Innocence – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-12-2000)

After My Innocence By: Shawn Petrie (10-12-2000)

Thoughts blow up
Like gunshots at night
I feel so alone
But put up no fight

Social life flushed
Because I can’t stand to go
And talk to new people
That I don’t even know

You can’t understand
You’re less than a man
Open up your heart
Care for once if you can

My friends have all fled
Because I’m always too sad
Like a plaster mold of a crying clown
I always feel bad

Frowning for a reason
I cannot let you know
But if you promise not to tell anyone
I’ll try to let it show

I am longing for you and I’m dying inside
You left me alone, left me to cry
I’ll never know how you really felt about me
I just wish I had the courage to give it one more try