Battle Scars
By: Shawn Petrie (4-10-2000)
A cold and bitter silence
Tore through my heart when you left
Questions without answers
Tormented thoughts while I lay alone
Left on the floor
A busted version of a greater self-portrait
The person I thought you wanted
A change of plan has left me twisted
Fragmented memories with no right
Sometimes keep me awake in the dark
Holding my self as I grow colder
As I am pulled further away from the light
Sounds strike fear for good reason
What is outside my door
Out in the world
More importantly out in yours
I see you pass
Leaving once again with no warning
Proving that everyone fends for themselves
Twisting the knife in the wound
Another closed session
What goes on behind these closed doors
What lies in store for the liars
Standing there ground in their grief stricken lairs
Time mocking me as I wait
Impatience enforces unwanted emotion
You flash through my mind
And my day has gone to waste
Spending too much time on one
Spending too much time resisting
Spending too much time-wasting time
Wasting too much time on you
Shut the door but the light bleeds through
Embarking on yet another great adventure
Hacking its way through to another
Stopping at nothing continue the cutting
Unholy devotion, burning emotion
Bitterness that tastes so familiar
Reminds me how it feels to hate
How it feels to be alone
I pull the blankets closer
Around my shoulders the front lines to battle
Spotting movement related to your lies
Push my fist through the wall
I arise from this frustration
Sleep is so distant and sacrificial
I close my eyes as I arise
And stumble through my dream blind
The mirror to which I resort to
Reflects a broken image and a shattered faith
Reflects an image which chills me to the bone
I look at myself and find the imperfections
Falling backwards towards another failure
Not quite landing on my feet
Just enough life left to keep me alive
In this world which feels so alien
One thing enters my mind
Something I forget to do
Taking one last walk tonight
Into another corridor of repairs
Twist the top off to reveal salvation
Relief in the tube with no truth
Relief in the colorful array of sizes and potencies
A cool glass of liquid eases the entrance
Settling inside my mind
Beginning to spread through my veins
Starting to stop what was unwanted
Stopping the start of a breakdown
Heavy on my feet the world becomes less bearing
The thoughts of insistence become inconsistent
Lying back down one more time, one more try
I have no choice now but to surrender
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