Crispair (1min59)
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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My Mirror (3min36)
By: Shawn Petrie (6-4-2005)
Performed BY: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse 1)
I look into your eyes
And I can see the anger
A combination of the pain
And your willingness to survive
I know the life you live
Gets harder every day
I know how hard you try
Just to watch it cast away
(Verse 2)
I hear the words you say
And pretend to understand
An introduction to the truth
On a trail can’t reach the end
(Verse 3)
From where did you arise?
How did you get so far?
Will I make it out of here?
Are you trying to get in?
(Verse 4)
They call you mister do no right
They say you’re the one to blame
They talk amongst themselves
And come to their conclusions
(Chorus 1)
The light dims down to gray
And so does your existence
I wonder where you’re hiding
Until the next reflection
(Voice)
You, don’t need anyone else but me
I will be the one you can turn to
I’ll become you and you’ll become me
I am the only one who can see you
(Verse 5)
I turn to you and smile
The smile is then returned
And now we are connected
With a synchronistic nod
(Chorus 2)
The light dims down to gray
And so does your existence
Until we meet again
Until the next reflection
(Voice 2)
Hey, walk by again
I’m in need of a friend
And you need one two
No one cares for you the way I do
Come with me to another place inside
(Verse 6)
These things I hear you say
Will turn my heart to stone
We must avoid the truth
Keep there on the other side
(Chorus 3)
All light has gone away
As has my only friend
I’ll see you once again
Inside the next reflection
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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In A Heartbeat (4min41)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-25-2015)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Monologue)
Here we stand before you
Holding out our hands
Putting on a show for each
Woman child and man
We make a mockery of these proceedings
As nothing we say will last
And someday all these promises
Will get buried in the past
You speak with true conviction
But your intentions are not true
But I am blinded by reality
Because all I see is you
Past the dreams of a broken mind
Beyond the doors you will find
A lonely place a prison cell
A place to wait that’s a lot like hell
You never cared and you never tried
Evil games and foolish pride
You’ll never reach where you belong
Because in a heartbeat you’ll be gone
(Bridge)
You’re the one that’s cold at night
You’re the one that’s dying in side
You’re the one that’s lost it all
You’re the one that’s losing your mind
You’re the one that’s going through hell
You’re the one with a cross to bear
The way you treated me was very wrong
And in a heartbeat you’ll be gone
(Monologue)
And when I said I love you
For sure you said it back
But I know you never meant it
I want to take it back
(Bridge)
You’re screaming in the after glow
You’re crying but no nobody knows
You’re trying but nobody cares
Because no one you love is there
You’re acting your tough as nails
But life has caught up with your tales
And making out on your own
Means making it out all alone for you
(Monologue)
And when I said I trust you
With every part of me
You learned which ways to hurt me
You learned which ways to burn me
I want to take you to your new place
The one you’ll call your home
It’s dark its cold it’s lonely
And like me you’ll be alone
Your hear whispers in the coldest night
That’s you conscience breaking through
But you have used up all your chances
And I’m forever done with you
Burn up all the memories
Close the coffin door
Moving into days of new
A future without you
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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Love You (3min04)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (8-1-2003)
PERFORMED BY: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015)
Looking back on the many years
That we have been together
I wouldn’t be where I am today
If you hadn’t been beside me
My life has been filled with pain
Your love has made me strong
When I can’t go on anymore
I remember that I love you
I love you
You were made for me
You turned my whole life around
I wouldn’t make it one day without you
When I see the love in your eyes
I want you to know I love you too
I lay my claim to the
Spokes of your heart
The whole world couldn’t
Tear us apart
I love you
You were meant for me
As we start our life together
We head into forever
We can beat down all the odds
As long as we’re together
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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Out Of This World (4min40)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (8-18-2015)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2005)
(Intro)
Drum fade in
Modem dialing static
(Vocal intro)
(Verse)
Pictures on an LCD screen
I have so many connections
The possibilities
With this technology
To make me feel less alone
I’ll stay awake all night
But when the tabs are closed
Something just don’t feel right
(Chorus)
And so its
Out of my head
Out of my mind
Out of this world
I’ll fly
(Verse)
This walls a front for a made up life
Check out these photos of me HA!
But don’t go digging too deep
You may not like what you see
You’ve gotten down to the start of it all
When I thought differently
Here’s where you’ll become afraid
But will you unfriend me?
(Chorus)
And so its
Out of my head
Out of my mind
Out of this world
I’ll fly
(Verse)
Vocal solo or instrumental
(Bridge)
Well hang out in the darkness
Of the interweb
Well pass time and say things
That we never meant
Well build up and break bonds
Without a second thought
Because there’s very little chance
That well be ever caught
(Verse)
And now there’s nothing to see
And I just stare at the screen
Because you changed your mind
You blocked and unfriended me
(Chorus)
And so its
Out of my head
Out of my mind
Out of this world
I’ll fly
Out of this web
Chock full of lies
Out of this world
I’ll fly
(Verse vocal solo fade out
Internet connection sound)
http://www.findfakefriends.com
http://www.breakallhearts.com
http://www.fuckyouall.com
http://www.killmenow.com
http://www.wastemoretime.com
http://www.tellmorelies.com
http://www.hideyourtracks.com
http://www.killmenow.com
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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Meltdown (3min24)
By: Shawn Petrie (9-22-2015)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse)
Unthinkable violence from a source of love
Frozen with fear when push comes to shove
In a black and white world Only hate exits here
No one around as the darkness grows near
(Verse)
Living with trouble, raised by a beast
Planting the hate that’s burning in me
Too many blind spots increasingly cold
regretting my birth till the day I grow old
(Verse)
cant look around if all that I see
Are penniless fingers pointing at me
I want to break free of the shell that I’m in
I want to escape and start over again
(Chorus)
Why does it come down on me
I am blinded by this world cant see
Living my life though its coming to an end
And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Verse)
Infected with trouble pressing on me
Making it harder and harder to see
All of blind spots twisted and cold
Regretting my birth till my soul is sold
(Chorus)
Why does it come down on me
I am blinded by this world cant see
Living my life though it’s coming to an end
And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Bridge)
(Verse)
Shelter myself from the burning insanity
No point if it is already inside of me
Standing in the corner in a black and white life
And the only thing that keeps me here is
Faith in the knife
(Chorus)
Why does it come down on me
I am blinded by this world cant see
Living my life though its coming to an end
And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Verse)
Unbearable grief is growing in me
Removing my eyes I can no longer see
The word as it crumbles down at my feet
And melts away as I’m facing defeat
(Verse)
Accepting this fate as I fade away
Nothing to do and nothing to say
No where to go and no way to grow
As I meltdown in the darkness below
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
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Loaded Knife (4min04)
By: Shawn D. Petrie
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (10-4-2015)
(Verse 1)
Inside this mind I can’t escape
Demons search my soul to rape
Inside this cell I feel no pain
This hell I feel brings me much strain
To know I won’t and live in fear
I’m all alone and no one cares
One day I’ll free my mind of fire
I grow so old my soul does tire
I’ll soon be free and live no more
I’ll lose my friends and the things I adore
Then I’ll rejoice and rest in peace
The hell I know will no longer haunt me
(Chorus 1)
You will pay for
The hell you’ve given me
(Verse 2)
Take me very far away from here
I’m so sick of the pain and fear
What once was home will never again be
I’ve lost my self just leave me be
What tomorrow will bring for me
Maybe I’ll drown in a deep dark sea
My soul is lost, been chased up a tree
What once was real will never be
(Chorus 2)
You will pay for
The hell you’ve given me
(Verse 3)
I’ve lost my girl I’ve lost my friends
Tell me when will this nightmare end
I sleep in warm that feels so cold
You watch me fade as I grow old
Everything that I’ve come to know
As quickly as I learn it quickly goes
An empty shell is what I’ll be
Don’t waste your tears or hope for me
There’ll come a day when I’ll be gone
Maybe you’ll look back on this song
All I could hope for was this pain
To go away, death made me sane
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-4-2015)
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The Loss Of Spring (5min50)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-29-2015)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records
(Verse)
You chip away at the person I am
You chip away at me
You drive all my hope away
Displace it from me
You make it seem almost impossible
To carry on each day
But Still I wake up every morning
To give up one more day
(Chorus)
There’s a chill, out in the air
It’s in my heart, it’s everywhere
It’s in my soul, in every hole
It’s in the darkness, taking control
It crushes me, and talks to me
And teaches me, How not to see
It gives me all, that I need
It won’t allow me to succeed
(Verse)
Although it seems it’s like forever
It’s going by so fast
And one day before I know it
This will come to pass
It’s like you took all of the sunlight
And covered it with grey
It’s like you infused rain and sadness
Into every day
(Solo / bridge)
my heart, bleeds out
my words, fade out
my world, shut out
my love, runs out
(Verse)
I close my eyes but the vision is standing
Inside my heart and mind
I never dreamed that another person
Could be so unkind
And now I face an endless winter
No sun no light
The loss of spring all days forever
Overcast by night
(Chorus)
There was a time
I would have tried
To make it work
Now that’s a lie
There’s nothing left, nothing to say
I’ve got to let this, pass away
We were never, meant to be
You cannot be, right for me
The way you tore my soul apart
You’re not right for me
(Verse)
And now I hear you’re looking for closure
So you can brighten your day
Where does that leave me empty-handed
Cause I’ve got nothing to say
You’ve got to live with your decisions
That brought you here today
You got to live with the loss of spring
Because you made it this way
(Outro)
my heart, bleeds out
my words, fade out
my world, shut out
my love, runs out
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
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All For One (3min21)
By: Shawn Petrie (5-10-2004)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records
(Verse 1)
Gather up your plans and dreams
Hold them in this little bottle
Lye upon this table of steel
And wish your heart away
Watch your step on this oily floor
Teach your class to smile and cry
Always hoping for so much more
Giving up all you can
(Chorus 1)
Greed spills poison,
Drawing flies and disease
A large part of what’s been divided
Is collected by a powerful being
Verse 2
Die inside as you give your all
Your only purpose now will be to please
You would be an important addition
If you weren’t so dedicated
A broken silence in the morning air
Reminding you start the day
Continuation of the ancient ways
A tunnel with no light inside
(Chorus 2)
Your heart is beating slower, and the
Will to try fades away
You speak out for a change, but no one
Hears a single word you say
(Verse 3)
Solo guitar and keyboard
(Chorus 3)
Greed spills poison,
Drawing flies and disease
A large part of what’s been divided
Is collected by a powerful being
I have only one question for you
Why is it all for one and one for none?
If I could ask you just one question
Why is it all for one and one for none?
It’s all for one, it’s all for one
It’s all for one, one for none
One for none, one for none
Why does it have to be one for none?
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
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Unsecured Sacred Shelter (4min11)
By: Shawn D. Petrie 4-10-2000
Performed by: August Will Decay
(Intro)
Broken bones, busted souls
Crushed beyond repair
Bloody hands, bleeding hearts
Close the coffin lock it off
(Chorus Intro)
Scratch my eyes out, make me blind
I fear all that I see
Without warning, terror strikes
Evil within this lonely night
Fist of rage, releases anger
What was once to be
Forget the future, block it out
You cannot penetrate me
(Verse 1)
Fire burning on the water
Show the willing what is anger
Steel, cold and conformed to his law
Unrealized dreams, a child screams
(Chorus 1)
Unsecured sacred shelter
Rebuild, then smash again
Unsecured sacred shelter
Life in a cold cup of silence
Pray to a page, the book is bread
No one on, the other end
Unsecured Sacred Shelter
Blinking lights, dead on the inside
(Verse 2)
Creatures crawling on my wall
The blankets do not help
Another loan another forced chore
Organized disillusion and agony
(Chorus 2)
Unsecured sacred shelter
Hell at home, driven hard
Unsecured sacred shelter
The missing link returned, unwanted
Abuse and words worked and formed
The belt tears and burns, but leaves no scars
Unsecured Sacred Shelter
Toss the dialogue into the fire
Time passes out the window
Greet another, defeating day
Close my eyes, this has got to be a dream
I’ve got to make it go away
(Outro)
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
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Zombie Brain (4min46)
By: Shawn Petrie (6-4-2015)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2005)
(Intro)
(Verse)
When will you see past your own smile
Cause the smile you wear is a fake
When will you stop to ask yourself?
How much more can I take
You were like a poison running through my veins
And there was no antidote
I hear a noise in the other room, what’s that sound?
It is only your ghost
(Chorus)
I just can’t stand living with this pain
I’d like to put a bullet in your zombie brain
I just can’t stand living with this regret
It’s time to put this to bed, it’s time to forget
(Bridge) – (Verse)
You’re like the coldest chill in the winter’s air
And when I needed you, you weren’t there
You left me silently once upon a time
And took what was your and all that was mine
(Chorus)
I just can’t stand living with this pain
I’d like to put a bullet in your zombie brain
You walk the earth breaking hearts without refrain
They say to kill the bitch you got to kill the brain
(Solo) – (Breakdown)
When you made me smile, it was a lie
When you promised me, it was a lie
When you wore your ring, it was a lie
So it’s time for me to say goodbye
When you held me tight, it was a lie
When you held my hand, it was a lie
When you took your vow, it was a lie
So it’s time for me to say goodbye
(Outro)
You’ll be forgotten, I’ll be gone
You’ll be forever walking dead
This sadness that’s inside your head
Will torment you until the end
And I cannot stand to see
Your face your face in my dreams
So I choose to not
And never again will you be part of me
You’ll never be, you’ll never get back in
You’re dead to me, you’re dead to me
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
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A Cage Built For Me (3min24)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-7-02) – (4-10-2004)
Performed by: August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse)
Silent rage and insecure feelings, associated with pain
I hate what I cannot be and want what I can never have
I hate what is expected of me when I haven’t enough to give
I feel lost when I look into the darkness of this room
(Chorus)
A cage built for me
A cage built for me
A cage built for me
A cage built for me
(Verse)
I feel dissatisfaction with myself and the things I have accomplished
I feel disappointment with the person I am and will become
I suffer with constant regret of the mistakes I have made and the ones I am making
I hurt at the sight of all this space inside
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse)
I wish it to be dark when the sun is shining bright
I feel alone and tormented by the light of day
I hear emptiness in the words I hear myself speak
And I can’t imagine why I have a single friend in this fucked up world
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse)
I look around in the first light of day and feel pity
I feel everyone around me has to something wrong with them
I think that I am the only one with any common sense
And the only one not knowing enough to ignore it all
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse)
I feel trapped in a place which holds no future for me
I feel trapped inside of my own heart and mind
I know these feelings are too strong for one person to deal with
I know there is definitely something wrong with me
(Guitar solo through
Chorus and verse)
(Verse)
What is it that I want? I used to know for sure
I used to have the outline, I used to have a plan with goals
Now my goals are beyond reach and I have failed
I feel heartless when I face how I truly feel
I feel scared at what this means for me and my future
I am terrified at the thought of spending eternity inside
Rotting inside this cage built for me
Rotting inside this cage built for me
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
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