My Mirror (3min36) By: Shawn Petrie (6-4-2005) Performed BY: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse 1) I look into your eyes And I can see the anger A combination of the pain And your willingness to survive I know the life you live Gets harder every day I know how hard you try Just to watch it cast away
(Verse 2) I hear the words you say And pretend to understand An introduction to the truth On a trail can’t reach the end
(Verse 3) From where did you arise? How did you get so far? Will I make it out of here? Are you trying to get in?
(Verse 4) They call you mister do no right They say you’re the one to blame They talk amongst themselves And come to their conclusions
(Chorus 1) The light dims down to gray And so does your existence I wonder where you’re hiding Until the next reflection
(Voice) You, don’t need anyone else but me I will be the one you can turn to I’ll become you and you’ll become me I am the only one who can see you
(Verse 5) I turn to you and smile The smile is then returned And now we are connected With a synchronistic nod
(Chorus 2) The light dims down to gray And so does your existence Until we meet again Until the next reflection
(Voice 2) Hey, walk by again I’m in need of a friend And you need one two No one cares for you the way I do Come with me to another place inside
(Verse 6) These things I hear you say Will turn my heart to stone We must avoid the truth Keep there on the other side
(Chorus 3) All light has gone away As has my only friend I’ll see you once again Inside the next reflection
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
In A Heartbeat (4min41)
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-25-2015) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Monologue) Here we stand before you Holding out our hands Putting on a show for each Woman child and man
We make a mockery of these proceedings As nothing we say will last And someday all these promises Will get buried in the past
You speak with true conviction But your intentions are not true But I am blinded by reality Because all I see is you
Past the dreams of a broken mind Beyond the doors you will find A lonely place a prison cell A place to wait that’s a lot like hell
You never cared and you never tried Evil games and foolish pride You’ll never reach where you belong Because in a heartbeat you’ll be gone
(Bridge)
You’re the one that’s cold at night You’re the one that’s dying in side You’re the one that’s lost it all You’re the one that’s losing your mind You’re the one that’s going through hell You’re the one with a cross to bear The way you treated me was very wrong And in a heartbeat you’ll be gone
(Monologue) And when I said I love you For sure you said it back But I know you never meant it I want to take it back
(Bridge) You’re screaming in the after glow You’re crying but no nobody knows You’re trying but nobody cares Because no one you love is there You’re acting your tough as nails But life has caught up with your tales And making out on your own Means making it out all alone for you
(Monologue) And when I said I trust you With every part of me You learned which ways to hurt me You learned which ways to burn me
I want to take you to your new place The one you’ll call your home It’s dark its cold it’s lonely And like me you’ll be alone
Your hear whispers in the coldest night That’s you conscience breaking through But you have used up all your chances And I’m forever done with you
Burn up all the memories Close the coffin door Moving into days of new A future without you
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
Out Of This World (4min40) By: Shawn D. Petrie (8-18-2015) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2005)
(Intro) Drum fade in Modem dialing static
(Vocal intro)
(Verse) Pictures on an LCD screen I have so many connections The possibilities With this technology
To make me feel less alone I’ll stay awake all night But when the tabs are closed Something just don’t feel right
(Chorus) And so its Out of my head Out of my mind Out of this world I’ll fly
(Verse) This walls a front for a made up life Check out these photos of me HA! But don’t go digging too deep You may not like what you see You’ve gotten down to the start of it all When I thought differently Here’s where you’ll become afraid But will you unfriend me?
(Chorus) And so its Out of my head Out of my mind Out of this world I’ll fly
(Verse) Vocal solo or instrumental
(Bridge) Well hang out in the darkness Of the interweb Well pass time and say things That we never meant Well build up and break bonds Without a second thought Because there’s very little chance That well be ever caught
(Verse) And now there’s nothing to see And I just stare at the screen Because you changed your mind You blocked and unfriended me
(Chorus) And so its Out of my head Out of my mind Out of this world I’ll fly Out of this web Chock full of lies Out of this world I’ll fly
(Verse vocal solo fade out Internet connection sound)
Meltdown (3min24) By: Shawn Petrie (9-22-2015) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse) Unthinkable violence from a source of love Frozen with fear when push comes to shove In a black and white world Only hate exits here No one around as the darkness grows near
(Verse) Living with trouble, raised by a beast Planting the hate that’s burning in me Too many blind spots increasingly cold regretting my birth till the day I grow old
(Verse) cant look around if all that I see Are penniless fingers pointing at me I want to break free of the shell that I’m in I want to escape and start over again
(Chorus) Why does it come down on me I am blinded by this world cant see Living my life though its coming to an end And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Verse) Infected with trouble pressing on me Making it harder and harder to see All of blind spots twisted and cold Regretting my birth till my soul is sold
(Chorus) Why does it come down on me I am blinded by this world cant see Living my life though it’s coming to an end And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Bridge)
(Verse) Shelter myself from the burning insanity No point if it is already inside of me Standing in the corner in a black and white life And the only thing that keeps me here is Faith in the knife
(Chorus) Why does it come down on me I am blinded by this world cant see Living my life though its coming to an end And I don’t ever want to wake up again
(Verse) Unbearable grief is growing in me Removing my eyes I can no longer see The word as it crumbles down at my feet And melts away as I’m facing defeat
(Verse) Accepting this fate as I fade away Nothing to do and nothing to say No where to go and no way to grow As I meltdown in the darkness below
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-6-2015)
Loaded Knife (4min04)
By: Shawn D. Petrie Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (10-4-2015)
(Verse 1) Inside this mind I can’t escape Demons search my soul to rape Inside this cell I feel no pain This hell I feel brings me much strain
To know I won’t and live in fear I’m all alone and no one cares One day I’ll free my mind of fire I grow so old my soul does tire
I’ll soon be free and live no more I’ll lose my friends and the things I adore Then I’ll rejoice and rest in peace The hell I know will no longer haunt me
(Chorus 1) You will pay for The hell you’ve given me
(Verse 2) Take me very far away from here I’m so sick of the pain and fear What once was home will never again be I’ve lost my self just leave me be
What tomorrow will bring for me Maybe I’ll drown in a deep dark sea My soul is lost, been chased up a tree What once was real will never be
(Chorus 2) You will pay for The hell you’ve given me
(Verse 3) I’ve lost my girl I’ve lost my friends Tell me when will this nightmare end I sleep in warm that feels so cold You watch me fade as I grow old
Everything that I’ve come to know As quickly as I learn it quickly goes An empty shell is what I’ll be Don’t waste your tears or hope for me
There’ll come a day when I’ll be gone Maybe you’ll look back on this song All I could hope for was this pain To go away, death made me sane
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay
(Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-4-2015)
The Loss Of Spring (5min50) By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-29-2015) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records
(Verse) You chip away at the person I am You chip away at me You drive all my hope away Displace it from me
You make it seem almost impossible To carry on each day But Still I wake up every morning To give up one more day
(Chorus) There’s a chill, out in the air It’s in my heart, it’s everywhere It’s in my soul, in every hole It’s in the darkness, taking control It crushes me, and talks to me And teaches me, How not to see It gives me all, that I need It won’t allow me to succeed
(Verse) Although it seems it’s like forever It’s going by so fast And one day before I know it This will come to pass It’s like you took all of the sunlight And covered it with grey It’s like you infused rain and sadness Into every day
(Solo / bridge) my heart, bleeds out my words, fade out my world, shut out my love, runs out
(Verse) I close my eyes but the vision is standing Inside my heart and mind I never dreamed that another person Could be so unkind
And now I face an endless winter No sun no light The loss of spring all days forever Overcast by night
(Chorus) There was a time I would have tried To make it work Now that’s a lie
There’s nothing left, nothing to say I’ve got to let this, pass away We were never, meant to be
You cannot be, right for me The way you tore my soul apart You’re not right for me
(Verse) And now I hear you’re looking for closure So you can brighten your day Where does that leave me empty-handed Cause I’ve got nothing to say You’ve got to live with your decisions That brought you here today You got to live with the loss of spring Because you made it this way
(Outro) my heart, bleeds out my words, fade out my world, shut out my love, runs out
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay (Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
Unsecured Sacred Shelter (4min11) By: Shawn D. Petrie 4-10-2000 Performed by: August Will Decay
(Intro) Broken bones, busted souls Crushed beyond repair Bloody hands, bleeding hearts Close the coffin lock it off
(Chorus Intro) Scratch my eyes out, make me blind I fear all that I see Without warning, terror strikes Evil within this lonely night Fist of rage, releases anger What was once to be Forget the future, block it out You cannot penetrate me
(Verse 1) Fire burning on the water Show the willing what is anger Steel, cold and conformed to his law Unrealized dreams, a child screams
(Chorus 1) Unsecured sacred shelter Rebuild, then smash again Unsecured sacred shelter Life in a cold cup of silence Pray to a page, the book is bread No one on, the other end Unsecured Sacred Shelter Blinking lights, dead on the inside
(Verse 2) Creatures crawling on my wall The blankets do not help Another loan another forced chore Organized disillusion and agony
(Chorus 2) Unsecured sacred shelter Hell at home, driven hard Unsecured sacred shelter The missing link returned, unwanted Abuse and words worked and formed The belt tears and burns, but leaves no scars Unsecured Sacred Shelter Toss the dialogue into the fire
Time passes out the window Greet another, defeating day Close my eyes, this has got to be a dream I’ve got to make it go away
(Outro)
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay (Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
Zombie Brain (4min46) By: Shawn Petrie (6-4-2015) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2005)
(Intro)
(Verse) When will you see past your own smile Cause the smile you wear is a fake When will you stop to ask yourself? How much more can I take You were like a poison running through my veins And there was no antidote I hear a noise in the other room, what’s that sound? It is only your ghost
(Chorus) I just can’t stand living with this pain I’d like to put a bullet in your zombie brain I just can’t stand living with this regret It’s time to put this to bed, it’s time to forget
(Bridge) – (Verse) You’re like the coldest chill in the winter’s air And when I needed you, you weren’t there You left me silently once upon a time And took what was your and all that was mine
(Chorus) I just can’t stand living with this pain I’d like to put a bullet in your zombie brain You walk the earth breaking hearts without refrain They say to kill the bitch you got to kill the brain
(Solo) – (Breakdown) When you made me smile, it was a lie When you promised me, it was a lie When you wore your ring, it was a lie So it’s time for me to say goodbye When you held me tight, it was a lie When you held my hand, it was a lie When you took your vow, it was a lie So it’s time for me to say goodbye
(Outro) You’ll be forgotten, I’ll be gone You’ll be forever walking dead This sadness that’s inside your head Will torment you until the end And I cannot stand to see Your face your face in my dreams So I choose to not And never again will you be part of me You’ll never be, you’ll never get back in You’re dead to me, you’re dead to me
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay (Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)
A Cage Built For Me (3min24) By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-7-02) – (4-10-2004) Performed by: August Will Decay Loaded Knife Records (2015)
(Verse) Silent rage and insecure feelings, associated with pain I hate what I cannot be and want what I can never have I hate what is expected of me when I haven’t enough to give I feel lost when I look into the darkness of this room
(Chorus) A cage built for me A cage built for me A cage built for me A cage built for me
(Verse) I feel dissatisfaction with myself and the things I have accomplished I feel disappointment with the person I am and will become I suffer with constant regret of the mistakes I have made and the ones I am making I hurt at the sight of all this space inside
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse) I wish it to be dark when the sun is shining bright I feel alone and tormented by the light of day I hear emptiness in the words I hear myself speak And I can’t imagine why I have a single friend in this fucked up world
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse) I look around in the first light of day and feel pity I feel everyone around me has to something wrong with them I think that I am the only one with any common sense And the only one not knowing enough to ignore it all
(Chorus repeat)
(Verse) I feel trapped in a place which holds no future for me I feel trapped inside of my own heart and mind I know these feelings are too strong for one person to deal with I know there is definitely something wrong with me
(Guitar solo through Chorus and verse)
(Verse) What is it that I want? I used to know for sure I used to have the outline, I used to have a plan with goals Now my goals are beyond reach and I have failed
I feel heartless when I face how I truly feel I feel scared at what this means for me and my future I am terrified at the thought of spending eternity inside Rotting inside this cage built for me
Rotting inside this cage built for me
Written, recorded, and performed by August Will Decay (Shawn D. Petrie) Loaded Knife Records (10-3-2015)