If you knew By: Shawn D. Petrie

If you knew
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2015)

The darkness fills my eyes
As we say our last goodbyes
If you only knew what id do for you
If you were mine

An emptiness fills the silence
But im screaming out inside
If you only knew just how much
I love you

Life is short and nothings free
But the love that once was Between you and me
But now its faded like your memories
Of better times

But I cannot focus
On what lies beneath
The memories that are
Filling me are positive
And I can only cry

If you knew what I would do for you
I would die for you
Tell a lie for you
I would take the brunt of any force
Without a flinch
For you of course

If you only knew
How I feel inside
And how when I lost you
Something died
That I cant replace
I miss your face
And I miss you

If you knew how I hope
As each day passes
That that will be the very last day
That I spend without you
But there behind it
Is another day, alone

The notes and tags, the gifts the rags
Laying around and hidden in plain sight
A constant reminder
Of what we once had
But will never have again

I have lost my best friend

The only one who will ever know
The real me
The one even I cant see
And help me grow those days
Are sadly over

But there is no blame
The cant be a cause
Is the universe perhaps because
No ones meant to feel that way
Forever

But if you knew
How I hoped and prayed
To a god I don’t know
Cause he never showed
To make that wish come true for me
Which was you

If you only knew the truth
I will never be me without you
I can only be what is left
Of an assembled mess
From pieces that don’t fit
They don’t make sense
They never will again

As I slid that ring on your finger
In that moment my heart does linger
And I miss holding your hand
When you wore your ring

I miss your touch
I miss your kiss
I miss your love
I miss so much

If you only knew what I now know
You’d forgive me
But with so much distance
So much pain
Lies and hurt
And draught and rain
How could we ever go back to what
I remember

Is what I picture true?
Were you ever mine?
Nothing is real anymore
So I must step back let you live your life
The life you tried so hard for with me
But I destroyed your dreams

I am sorry that I hurt you
And I sorry for this reality
I’m sorry for so many things
Maybe if you knew

You could forgive me

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

F O L L O W A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

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December 24, 2015 0

– Some New Graphics – (11-16-2015)

Some New Graphics (11-16-2015)

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November 16, 2015 0

– Battle Scars – By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-10-2000)

Battle Scars
By: Shawn Petrie (4-10-2000)

A cold and bitter silence
Tore through my heart when you left
Questions without answers
Tormented thoughts while I lay alone

Left on the floor
A busted version of a greater self-portrait
The person I thought you wanted
A change of plan has left me twisted

Fragmented memories with no right
Sometimes keep me awake in the dark
Holding my self as I grow colder
As I am pulled further away from the light

Sounds strike fear for good reason
What is outside my door
Out in the world
More importantly out in yours

I see you pass
Leaving once again with no warning
Proving that everyone fends for themselves
Twisting the knife in the wound

Another closed session
What goes on behind these closed doors
What lies in store for the liars
Standing there ground in their grief stricken lairs

Time mocking me as I wait
Impatience enforces unwanted emotion
You flash through my mind
And my day has gone to waste

Spending too much time on one
Spending too much time resisting
Spending too much time-wasting time
Wasting too much time on you

Shut the door but the light bleeds through
Embarking on yet another great adventure
Hacking its way through to another
Stopping at nothing continue the cutting

Unholy devotion, burning emotion
Bitterness that tastes so familiar
Reminds me how it feels to hate
How it feels to be alone

I pull the blankets closer
Around my shoulders the front lines to battle
Spotting movement related to your lies
Push my fist through the wall

I arise from this frustration
Sleep is so distant and sacrificial
I close my eyes as I arise
And stumble through my dream blind

The mirror to which I resort to
Reflects a broken image and a shattered faith
Reflects an image which chills me to the bone
I look at myself and find the imperfections

Falling backwards towards another failure
Not quite landing on my feet
Just enough life left to keep me alive
In this world which feels so alien

One thing enters my mind
Something I forget to do
Taking one last walk tonight
Into another corridor of repairs

Twist the top off to reveal salvation
Relief in the tube with no truth
Relief in the colorful array of sizes and potencies
A cool glass of liquid eases the entrance

Settling inside my mind
Beginning to spread through my veins
Starting to stop what was unwanted
Stopping the start of a breakdown

Heavy on my feet the world becomes less bearing
The thoughts of insistence become inconsistent
Lying back down one more time, one more try
I have no choice now but to surrender

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November 11, 2015 0

– A shade of hope – By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2004)

A shade of hope
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2004)

I rub my eyes, I need sleep
A dive into a peaceful dream
Without rejection, tears and pain
A perfect place in my brain
A world where people, truly care
And you can count on them to keep you near
Common is security, a safe tomorrow
No debt to pay, for the smiles I’ve borrowed

A shade of hope, I can see
It helps me cope, it helps me breath
It pulls me closer, to my dream
Pushes me when, I forget to believe
We all must want to make this real
Take actions on the things we feel
Rise above pain and hate
Never believe that it’s too late

But I’m still alone, who else cares
Who else dreams of that place out there
Who else wants this world of new
Who else wants to make it true
Light through my window is shining on me
Through my front door I awake to see
We have been given, one more chance
To create true harmony, the perfect dance

To make a change, to make it last
Move away from our painful past
Pull ourselves closer to a better day
Learn from what history has to say
I step into, this new day
I try to put those dreams away
And focus on what can be done
To create a life where we all have won

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November 8, 2015 0

– New Artwork – (11-6-2015)

New Artwork (11-6-2015)

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– A U G U S Y W I L L D E C A Y –

November 6, 2015 0

– New Artwork – (11-5-2015)

New Artwork (11-5-2015)
Original image courtesy of misty_celeste (instagram)
(Thank you)
I saw this image and it stuck a chord in me but needed my special touch put on it.

BEFORE…..

AND AFTER…

PERSONALLY I LOVE IT!
THANKS misty_celeste for letting it D E C A Y !
“Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.”
-Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield (22 September 1694 – 24 March 1773)

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– A U G U S Y W I L L D E C A Y –

November 6, 2015 0

– Another Moment – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-17-2006)

Another Moment
By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-17-2006)

So fragile and weak
Can’t rely on anger anymore
Any moment could be the one
From which I wont return

Up and down my emotions go
I miss you so damn much
Trying not to blame myself
But i see so many faults

I wanted to be perfect for you
For our hearts to heal together
You promised me your love
You promised me forever

But the things we said that day
Mean nothing in this emptiness
That i occupy alone
And it is so agonizing

I remember your face
And every single touch
And everything I hated
And everything i loved

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November 3, 2015 0

– After My Innocence – By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-12-2000)

After My Innocence By: Shawn Petrie (10-12-2000)

Thoughts blow up
Like gunshots at night
I feel so alone
But put up no fight

Social life flushed
Because I can’t stand to go
And talk to new people
That I don’t even know

You can’t understand
You’re less than a man
Open up your heart
Care for once if you can

My friends have all fled
Because I’m always too sad
Like a plaster mold of a crying clown
I always feel bad

Frowning for a reason
I cannot let you know
But if you promise not to tell anyone
I’ll try to let it show

I am longing for you and I’m dying inside
You left me alone, left me to cry
I’ll never know how you really felt about me
I just wish I had the courage to give it one more try

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November 3, 2015 0

– Alone Another Night – By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-5-1999)

Alone another night
By: Shawn Petrie (5-5-1999)

I can’t stand the thought of coming home to this empty house
And I know you have plans to go out tonight
But I don’t want you to go so I put up this fight
Because baby I don’t want to be alone tonight

My heart is as empty as these empty halls
Which lead to empty rooms
Having you here would paint the walls with light
Don’t let me be alone tonight

I don’t want to lay my head down on that empty bed
With only your memory to make everything all right
And your not being here is proof I’m holding on too tight
But baby I don’t want to be alone tonight

I close my eyes, remember you and my heart hits the floor
I hate the way you left me here, but still the shining light
I beg and plead with you to stay and make things right
So for the first and last time, don’t let me be alone tonight

I don’t want to wake up, in the morning light alone
Go one more day, without seeing your face or holding you tight
The hope I have that you’ll come back, is stronger than the sun is bright
I just wish with all of my heart that you had stayed last night

Published by:
Shawn D. Petrie
August Will Decay
Loaded Knife Records (2015 – 2016)

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November 2, 2015 0

– August Will Decay (www.allpoetry.com) –

The Worlds Largest Poetry Community

I have an assortment of poems on this great website. Its got a great collection of members who are supportive, yet critical, offering honest advice and truthful admiration of each others work. I believe this site has been around for quite a while but if you have not heard of it and you like to write poetry you should check it out.

www.allpoetry.com

Here is a link to my profile:

www.Allpoetry.com/AugustWillDecay

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October 29, 2015 1

– 202 likes on Facebook – (10-28-2015)

I am happy to announce that I have 202 likes on Facebook. I appreciate every one and hope that there will be more as more and more people get to know August Will Decay. Its been a long tough year for me so far but I look forward to a great creative winter with my new album out by the spring / summer. Thank you again to all of my supporters.

– August Will Decay –

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October 28, 2015 0

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