If you knew By: Shawn D. Petrie

If you knew
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2015)

The darkness fills my eyes
As we say our last goodbyes
If you only knew what id do for you
If you were mine

An emptiness fills the silence
But im screaming out inside
If you only knew just how much
I love you

Life is short and nothings free
But the love that once was Between you and me
But now its faded like your memories
Of better times

But I cannot focus
On what lies beneath
The memories that are
Filling me are positive
And I can only cry

If you knew what I would do for you
I would die for you
Tell a lie for you
I would take the brunt of any force
Without a flinch
For you of course

If you only knew
How I feel inside
And how when I lost you
Something died
That I cant replace
I miss your face
And I miss you

If you knew how I hope
As each day passes
That that will be the very last day
That I spend without you
But there behind it
Is another day, alone

The notes and tags, the gifts the rags
Laying around and hidden in plain sight
A constant reminder
Of what we once had
But will never have again

I have lost my best friend

The only one who will ever know
The real me
The one even I cant see
And help me grow those days
Are sadly over

But there is no blame
The cant be a cause
Is the universe perhaps because
No ones meant to feel that way
Forever

But if you knew
How I hoped and prayed
To a god I don’t know
Cause he never showed
To make that wish come true for me
Which was you

If you only knew the truth
I will never be me without you
I can only be what is left
Of an assembled mess
From pieces that don’t fit
They don’t make sense
They never will again

As I slid that ring on your finger
In that moment my heart does linger
And I miss holding your hand
When you wore your ring

I miss your touch
I miss your kiss
I miss your love
I miss so much

If you only knew what I now know
You’d forgive me
But with so much distance
So much pain
Lies and hurt
And draught and rain
How could we ever go back to what
I remember

Is what I picture true?
Were you ever mine?
Nothing is real anymore
So I must step back let you live your life
The life you tried so hard for with me
But I destroyed your dreams

I am sorry that I hurt you
And I sorry for this reality
I’m sorry for so many things
Maybe if you knew

You could forgive me

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

F O L L O W A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y
BLOG FOLLOW LINK:
facebook.com/augustwilldecayofficial (Facebook Like Page)
soundcloud.com/august-will-decay (SoundCloud)
instagram.com/augustwilldecay/ (Instagram)
tumblr.com/blog/augustwilldecay (tumblr)
twitter.com/crashandarcburn (Shawn D. Petrie)
twitter.com/augustwilldecay (August Will Decay)
twitter.com/LoadedKnife (Loaded Knife Records)
twitter.com/disophoto (Disobedient Photography)

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

I have not forgotten By: Shawn D. Petrie

I have not forgotten
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-5-2007)

I stepped into a situation
I knew not how to deal
With far to many emotions
Some of which weren’t real

But something always felt so good
Just looking in your eyes
I have so much respect for you
Though i seem to make you cry

You push me back so very hard
But i only came on stronger
Until you could no long breathe
And we could not last much longer

But i couldn’t let you go
For sure i don’t know why
So two more times i looked for love
I knew i had to try

My my had not frown enough
To see all that was wrong
And eventually we split apart
And its has since been very long

I survived and got my wish
A beautiful girl to call my own
She liked me very much
And her attraction was always shown

So many years later
Once my life was carved in stone
She disappeared from me all at once
And now i’m all alone

Without even looking
She came up clear to me
The one that melts me with her eyes
we were both surprised

I had to let her know
That i was still around
I had to try to talk to her
And prove that i’m on steady ground

She talked to me
And then we met
And all the things I’d soon forget
Came rushing back to me

But with a grown up clarity

And here is where i stand
I want to be your friend
I want to make you happy
And know you think of me

I want to spend the hours
Talking until we’re tired
I want to make love to you
I want to feel you close

I want to hold onto the dream
That you could be the one
That we could spend the rest of time
Together and as one

But as it stands right now
I must forget it all
And worry about the simple next step
Which one of us is going to call

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

This Nightmare Christmas Eve (12-24-2015)

This Nightmare Christmas Eve
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-24-2015)

Twas the night before sadness
Like I’ve never felt before
And the hurt that surrounds me
Has seldom been more

The tree I won’t place
Still stares in my face
As a constant reminder
Of the loss from this place

The stockings (just socks)
Are not hung anywhere
And I am feeling alone
Wondering who cares

Am I meant to suffer
As the snow is impending
To freeze off my love
And destroy this pretending

This holiday season
Burns it it’s own special way
And I curse this Christmas eve
And tomorrow just the same

Why place so much desire
In a heart that’s kept alone…
Some sick kind of joke?
From the leaders on thrones?

Twas the night before madness
As my mind self destructs
I won’t wake up tomorrow
…With a small bit of luck

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

INNER SEPARATION By: Shawn D. Petrie

INNER SEPARATION
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-22-1999)

THERE IS A CHILD WHO WATCHES
SHE SEES WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH
AND ALTHOUGH THE UNDERSTANDING LACKS
SHE FEELS THE PAIN I FEEL

I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER
WHAT SHE THINKS OF ME
WHY SHE WANTS TO LEAVE
WHY SHE WON’T GET CLOSE TO ME

THE MIND STILL SEEMS TO REPEAT
I MET HER, KNOCKED OFF MY FEET
AND IT SEEMED SHE WAS THE ONE FOR ME
BUT IN TRUTH IT COULD NEVER BE

SHE MADE ME FEEL I WAS THE ONE FOR HER
BUT IN FACT THE TRUTH WAS BLACK
BECAUSE WHEN I STARTED TO GET CLOSE
HEARTLESSLY SHE TURNED BACK

NOW I PLAY MYSELF, SAY THAT I’M O.K.
I PRETEND I DO NOT FEEL ALONE
I REALIZE NOW THAT NOT EVEN I,
COULD DISPLACE HER SELF RIGHTEOUS THRONE

NOTHING GOING ON INSIDE MY HEAD
NOTHING GOING ON INSIDE MY HEART
EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PUT ON HOLD
‘CAUSE MY INNER SEPARATION IS TEARING ME APART

WHEN WILL THIS CHILD FORGET
THE PAIN I’VE PUT HER THROUGH
ALL MY LOVE MUST HAVE BEEN HELL ON HER
BUT SHE’LL PROBABLY DENY THE TRUTH

THERE IS A CHILD WHO WATCHES
SHE’S COMING INTO HER OWN
AND SOMEDAY SHE’LL SEE
THAT SHE WILL NEVER GET BACK
TO HEAVEN FROM WHICH SHE WAS THROWN

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

If you cared By: Shawn D. Petrie

If you cared
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-13-2000)

Lets just pretend that for a second you care
I would turn around and you would be standing right there
With a smile on your face and enough love to share
You would cover me with kisses, more than I could bear

You would sit right down next to me on the bed
We would talk of your day and the thoughts in your head
You would consider a hug but would kiss me instead
And we would map out our plans for the day that we wed

And if I felt pain you would offer a hand
You would be there for me, make it easier to stand
You would love me like no one else, your own special brand
You would be my woman and make me feel like a man

We would walk together hand in hand in the park
Shining in our world too bright to get dark
Listening to our kids laugh and hear our dog bark
In our little own way we would leave our own mark

We would be a family of love and the simpler things
You would tell me you love me and look down at your wring
You lean over to kiss me and the birds start to sing
As you smile at the memory that our wedding day brings

We would all sit together at the dining room table
Just like you read about in those fairy tale fables
We wouldn’t be distracted by the radio or cable
To enjoy a quiet evening we would be able

And while our two children are sleeping at night
We make love and hold each other tight
Everything is perfect and feels so right
I look at you stunning, a beautiful sight

You would give me a smile just before you would sleep
All of our promises you could honor and keep
We would be thankful of love which never comes cheap
We would sleep through the night our true love running deep

I love you so much, you must have broke the mold
There are no secrets between us no information sold
I would dream of us together, when our kids have grown old
But I wake up alone, shaking and cold

I look around the room but I don’t see your face
Only a crowd of strangers quiet and harsh in this place
Trying to see where I went wrong I begin to retrace
I feel the loss of something great I cannot replace

My hands are now shaking like they used to before
And I try to escape but I cant find the door
I cry cause it hurts but they force feed me more
I think your out in the crowd but I cannot be sure

I grasp onto the past but the memories fading
My life is forgotten your face is now shading
I have nothing to offer and its all about trading
Im the only one crying amidst all the parading

I miss my children and I miss you
I start to believe this reality is true
This new pain is remembered as nothing thats new
And I surrender to the wolves, nothing more I can do

I look around the room, one last time before I die
And I mourn the loss of my family, I begin to cry
I consider escape but don’t bother to try
But just before I am shredded I open my eyes

The light through my window is shining on me
And my life is right back to how it used to be
I realize what’s happened and I can now see
A world where you don’t care is my reality

A world in which I am still all alone
And you don’t even miss me enough to pick up the phone
A world where you have lied and never have shown
That you are the least bit capable of disarming your throne

A tear runs down my cheek cause I miss you
Every thing was a dream nothing good ever came true
You never cared though I tried to persuade you
And you have hurt me again but what else is new

I get up and force myself to go through the door
Another lifeless day just like the one before
I have had quite enough but there’s always more
Of the memories of you that torment for sure

I passed you on the street, you didn’t look but I stared
Something special in my heart I thought we had shared
You wear a false smile, there’s a new man with you there
And just for a second I pretend that you care

I call out your name in my head but you hear
You look right at me and are effected by my tears
Your heart bursts with a love that’s more that you can bear
I turn around and see you standing right there

I have so many memories that you and I share
And when all of this loneliness becomes too much to bear
I start to tell myself that you will be back how I wish you were here
So just for a second I pretend that you care

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

Frozen Tears By: Shawn D. Petrie

Frozen Tears
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-22-1993)

Running through the ashes
On a cold December day
I am as cold inside as it is out here
With frozen tears on my face

Dancing in the cold sun
The freezing light of day
It is true to me I am lost inside
And I am never going to pull out of this

Running through the jasmine
A hallucination in my mind
I am half a man, lost to the outside
With frozen tears on my face

If I were really here I could communicate
If I was still alive I could concentrate
I am dead inside and cannot see my fate
Though you are my friend you cannot end the frozen tears on my face

Running through the ashes
On a cold December day
I wish I could freeze my feelings
And unthaw the tears on my face

Dying under a pale moon
The end is finally here
It is true to me I am lost inside
And I will die without a care

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

Going through the motions By: Shawn D. Petrie

Going through the motions
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-30-2000)

Loneliness felt by fools
Cannot see there future past
Into what could become a better tomorrow
What will and should not last

Heartache felt by lovers
Lost each other somehow in the rain
Proving true positions cannot be revealed
A true reflection of inner pain

Tears display the emptiness inside
A fear of yours to come
Hoping for the best with a light that’s inside, but
Worried they won’t find anyone

Cleansed wounds undressed begin to regress
Unprotected progress forgotten by fear
Praying for someone to ease the pain
Wishing you could hold someone near

Realizing all you can do is hope
Keep a strong heart, stand your ground
Have faith in who you are
Even when there is no one around

I know your in pain, I can see it in your eyes
A lot can be misunderstood
with all the commotion, but it is nothing to be feared
You’re just going through the motions

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

Go as you planned By: Shawn D. Petrie

Go as you planned
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-22-2004)

He represents every man
Every man but me
I am the one with will
Wide enough to see

That it’s not about
Who is right
And who is wrong
Or who has been around for too long

He was born and raised
To be tough as steel
And never feel that it’s ok
To express what he really feels

He was told to save his fears
For a woman’s ears
But that doesn’t always
Go as you planned

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

If I had to By Shawn D. Petrie

If I had to
By Shawn D. Petrie (2-20-2006)

If I had to try
Any harder than i do
I would probably collapse
And i would not make it through

If i opened up my eyes
Any wider than i do
I would probably go blind
At the ugliness of truth

If i felt any more
Than i do right now
I would empty out my heart
Which you cannot allow

And if i got any angrier
And it all came to a head
The whole world would surly suffer
Until the day that i am dead

Just run away
Just say goodbye
It’s long since been over
There is nothing inside

You’ll never care
And really why should you
There is nothing left of me and
Nothing inside of you

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

I’ll Be There By: Shawn D. Petrie

I’ll Be There
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-6-1999)

The blinding light on the brightest day
Is nothing compared to how you light up my soul
You take away my pain and sorrow
Warm up a world so cold

I have been watching the stars
Making my nightly wish and prayer
I would be so happy if you were my girl
I would forever love you and always be there

I think about you every day
Wonder where you are
But even when we are together
Still you seem so far

I just want to reach out and touch you
I want to hold you tight
I think of you when I wake
And before I sleep at night

You take away all the bad
With one look and one kiss
I want you to be part of me
That is my only wish

I am sitting there watching you
As you read these words from my heart
Come on baby change your mind
Lets make an awesome start

The love I feel for you is strong
Like I’ve never felt before
Open your arms and take me in
Let me through your hearts door

No words could ever describe
How much I care for you
And honest to god when I say I love you
You can be sure I really do

Take your time, clean up your past
I will wait for you, that is my plan
And until you tell me to go away
You own the heart of this man

You know exactly how I feel
What I want and how much I care
The soul of you is burned into mine
I will always be there

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
kunaki.com/mSales.asp?PublisherId=141880

– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

Check out my OFFICIAL YOU TUBE CHANNEL: HERE

December 24, 2015 0

I miss you all day By: Shawn D. Petrie

I miss you all day
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-8-2003)

Days go by but I will survive
The past seems like a dream
Wondering if that’s how I’m living now
A tear drops by the chill of your screams

Thinking of people that I have loved
The ones who have stayed and the ones I have lost
Ready to give up on the ones I have now
And get you back at any cost

I know that all seems wrong
And for sure not how I should live
Maybe it’s because you hold a part of me
That I foolishly decided to give

Seeing as how you said that you loved me
I thought that you would always be there
But one day I wasn’t paying attention
Turned around and you weren’t there

All of the people I have known
And in my own fathers raised hand
I have got to know before I go
Is this really an example of a man

Happiness has surly passed me by
I don’t know which way to turn
Realizing that any path I choose
Will surly leave me to burn

When I call you on the telephone
It’s always the same, you’re never home
Out on the town, another fun night
You left me alone with my pain and my fright

Like is something we must choose to live
Even though we are already alive
But what can I do when I offer my love
But in return yours is always denied

I miss you and I don’t know what else to say
When were not together I miss you all day