INNOCENT HEART (WISDOM) By: Shawn D. Petrie

INNOCENT HEART (WISDOM)
By: Shawn D. Petrie 3-5-1996

AM I IN YOUR BLACK BOOK?
WHY BOTHER TO LOOK?

WHY DID YOU NOTICE?

WHY DID YOU STARE?
WHY DID YOU SMILE?

WHY DID YOU TRY?
WHY DID I TRY?

WAS IT NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?
SHOULD IT HAVE HAPPENED?

WHY DID YOU LEAVE?
WHY DID I LEAVE?

WHAT MADE US LEAVE TOGETHER?
I WANTED US TO LAST FOREVER

HOW COULD YOU LIE?
WHY DID YOU CRY?

WAS IT ALL A JOKE?
BUT NOT A JOKE TO SHARE

BECAUSE THEN THAT WOULD REVEAL
THAT YOU NEVER CARED

AND YOU NEVER WILL

F O L L O W A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

IN THIS WORLD By: Shawn D. Petrie

IN THIS WORLD
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-19-1994)

My heart feels empty
And it wants to burst
It is in times of loneliness
That I feel the worst

My soul cries out
And prays for a mate
But in the world of the uncaring
There is only hate

My brain imagines the perfect love
The perfect girl
But it is so hard to find her
In this world

In this world the love I’d like to have
In this world you need someone special
Help me break free, there is no one here for me
For in this world it is too late

My hours spent weeping
The pain forever will last
I just don’t want to exist
My heart catches fire and burns to ash

I know I will never find love
I know it is too late
I will struggle alone all by myself
It is so hard to survive, in this world

In this world I’d win if I could
In this world, a place I despise

I hate to look in the mirror
And see the same old ugly face
And it is so hard to find love
In this place

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

In the wake of the bloodbath By: Shawn D. Petrie

In the wake of the bloodbath
By: Shawn D. Petrie 11-21-2006

Looking straight ahead, never looking back
Time has passed but still stuck in side this paradox
Hard to find a way, a path to choose and take
Out her in the shit alone, no communication

And all the while it seems
Like the sun will come out soon
But the dark grey clouds cover up
All that they consume

And the rain wont ever stop
And the cold is getting colder
How can I look towards tomorrow
Living in this constant sorrow

Reaching out to touch, the visions in my head
Knowing there not real, i cannot help myself

Living with the pain, with nowhere else to go
Bolted to this tragedy, loving my worst enemy

And all the while it seems
Like things could be ok
But the darkness that surrounds me
Grows deeper every day

It overthrows my heart
Every inch that’s up for sale
Pressing up against the walls
Trying to escape

There was once a time, we could have sailed forever
Living loving being friends, holding hands forever
Those days are hard to find, so hard to just remember
I feel like i cant carry on i feel like i should disappear

The times we spent together, on those uncertain shores
Never really fazed us cause we’ve dealt with that before
But now I’m so uncertain, and certainly alone
And your not here, to help me through

And your not with me now,
So i can help you through this too
Together, forever, no more
Alone forever in the wake of the bloodbath

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

In The Bag By: Shawn D. Petrie

In The Bag
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-7-1994)

Your love always seemed so strong
In your arms
I didn’t know right from wrong

That night everything was right
As soon as you reached to turn off the light
The love began and so did my heart
A true example of the perfect start

It was the beginning of love
But and end to my life

Haven’t seen you since that beautiful night
I’ve tried to find you
But it’s an uphill fight

We had something strong
Nothing could go wrong
But I was blind to my fault

And I’m sorry to say
That after that night
She took it all away

Another kick to the heart
One cold blow to the soul
You hurt me so bad
It’s time for me to go

Where I don’t know
But far away from your cold
And I’ll pick up the pieces
Of this lonely broken soul

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

wait – loss By: Shawn D. Petrie

wait – loss
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-28-2015)

Tears which never seem to end
Now seem to be my only friend
Loneliness and pain brought on again
By this cold and empty palace of lies

Frustration in my brain
An all to familiar need
I wish i could close my eyes
And drift away

Into sleep I dream to be
My only escape which doesn’t happen easily
I fight to stay awake to feel more pain
To wait out this time alone

As the world begins to freeze
Taking the final breath from me
Its clear to see whats left for me
Is the void in which i lay stagnant

biding by time
waiting for what
paying the ultimate cost
waiting for the loss

Of everything

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

I’m Done By: Shawn D. Petrie

I’m Done
By: Shawn D. Petrie (5-14-2000)

Where are all my friends at
Have they all ran away
Or just found something better to do
Than to try to help me through

I haven’t the money anymore
To buy the things that occupy my time
To help me through to a natural end
One which will not come soon enough

I haven’t the strength to fight
I have wasted it all years ago
Fighting to keep my head above water
When I should have let myself drown

My phone hasn’t rang in days
It seems the world is dead
No one thinks about me
Why should I continue to live

I don’t know what I will do next
Still procrastinating to a certain end
Living a life I have despised from day one
Turn me over the better half of me is done

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

In a dreamy state By: Shawn D. Petrie

In a dreamy state
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-12-1994)

Walking down a hallway
The hallway of my dreams
Where no one can be found
No one can hear my screams

If you trip and fall you won’t feel the pain
And which door to open is the only game
You will never feel weak the path is easy and real
In the hallway of my dreams love is all I feel

In a dreamy state I’m free
Free from life as we know it
In a dreamy state I’ll be
Fine as long as I’m in here

In a dreamy state I know
That I cannot subdue
In a dreamy state I’ll act
Act like myself alone

It isn’t hard to find
The hallway of my dreams
With slit wrists and rolled back eyes
Blood in runny streams

When you enter here
You will never again see rest
But compared to your chilly life
This dreamy state is the best

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

Imperfect perception of perfection By: Shawn D. Petrie

Imperfect perception of perfection
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-11-2000)

Maybe you aren’t so perfect
You didn’t show any signs of the one
So why did I insist on believing you were
When the whole time my love you would shun

It wasn’t that you were for me
But rather someone in mind
That I wanted, had, lost whatever
That is why I promised forever

You haven’t come back to me yet
And I think you are gone for good
Now this is prime time to get it together
And go on with my life like I should

What about you brought me joy?
What about you brought me pain?
Joy is hard for me to recall but I remember
Your childish painful games

I’m tired of thinking I live for you
I maintained feelings which never changed
Now I am scared to ever see you again
Because I know your still the same

I don’t believe you will return
You are gone for good this time
You thought that I couldn’t see through you
But I only pretended to be blind

I look at your hair
Unwashed and unclean
I remember your disposition
Ungrateful, cold and mean

I remember your clothes
Thrown on the bed unwashed
And I ask myself if what I wanted
Is still something I lost

I saw your eyes
They disguise lies to deceive
Holding back terrible things
That you yourself could not even believe

I remember your fun
Whatever it took to entertain
Whatever you wanted now you got
But all my pastimes are stained

I remember your house, your room
Clothing on the floor
Signs they were tossed in the heat of desire
You could be my worst fear for sure

I remember your mothers words
“She isn’t worth your time”
I wonder with all of this good advice
What the hell was going on in my mind

You dropped me like our plans
You couldn’t even say goodbye, answer the call
And among too many other things to mention
Makes me realize you aren’t so perfect after all

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

FRIENDS By: Shawn D. Petrie

FRIENDS
By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-3-1994)

FRIENDS CAN BE THERE
WHEN YOU’RE DOWN

SOMETIMES IT’S NICE
WHEN THERE AROUND

BUT THEY SOMEHOW TURN SO EASILY

ALL THE LIES YOU FAIL TO SEE

FRIENDS WILL BEAT YOU TO THE GROUND

FRIENDS WILL HIT YOU
WHEN YOU’RE DOWN

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-28-15)

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December 28, 2015 0

If you knew By: Shawn D. Petrie

If you knew
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-19-2015)

The darkness fills my eyes
As we say our last goodbyes
If you only knew what id do for you
If you were mine

An emptiness fills the silence
But im screaming out inside
If you only knew just how much
I love you

Life is short and nothings free
But the love that once was Between you and me
But now its faded like your memories
Of better times

But I cannot focus
On what lies beneath
The memories that are
Filling me are positive
And I can only cry

If you knew what I would do for you
I would die for you
Tell a lie for you
I would take the brunt of any force
Without a flinch
For you of course

If you only knew
How I feel inside
And how when I lost you
Something died
That I cant replace
I miss your face
And I miss you

If you knew how I hope
As each day passes
That that will be the very last day
That I spend without you
But there behind it
Is another day, alone

The notes and tags, the gifts the rags
Laying around and hidden in plain sight
A constant reminder
Of what we once had
But will never have again

I have lost my best friend

The only one who will ever know
The real me
The one even I cant see
And help me grow those days
Are sadly over

But there is no blame
The cant be a cause
Is the universe perhaps because
No ones meant to feel that way
Forever

But if you knew
How I hoped and prayed
To a god I don’t know
Cause he never showed
To make that wish come true for me
Which was you

If you only knew the truth
I will never be me without you
I can only be what is left
Of an assembled mess
From pieces that don’t fit
They don’t make sense
They never will again

As I slid that ring on your finger
In that moment my heart does linger
And I miss holding your hand
When you wore your ring

I miss your touch
I miss your kiss
I miss your love
I miss so much

If you only knew what I now know
You’d forgive me
But with so much distance
So much pain
Lies and hurt
And draught and rain
How could we ever go back to what
I remember

Is what I picture true?
Were you ever mine?
Nothing is real anymore
So I must step back let you live your life
The life you tried so hard for with me
But I destroyed your dreams

I am sorry that I hurt you
And I sorry for this reality
I’m sorry for so many things
Maybe if you knew

You could forgive me

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

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December 24, 2015 0

I have not forgotten By: Shawn D. Petrie

I have not forgotten
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-5-2007)

I stepped into a situation
I knew not how to deal
With far to many emotions
Some of which weren’t real

But something always felt so good
Just looking in your eyes
I have so much respect for you
Though i seem to make you cry

You push me back so very hard
But i only came on stronger
Until you could no long breathe
And we could not last much longer

But i couldn’t let you go
For sure i don’t know why
So two more times i looked for love
I knew i had to try

My my had not frown enough
To see all that was wrong
And eventually we split apart
And its has since been very long

I survived and got my wish
A beautiful girl to call my own
She liked me very much
And her attraction was always shown

So many years later
Once my life was carved in stone
She disappeared from me all at once
And now i’m all alone

Without even looking
She came up clear to me
The one that melts me with her eyes
we were both surprised

I had to let her know
That i was still around
I had to try to talk to her
And prove that i’m on steady ground

She talked to me
And then we met
And all the things I’d soon forget
Came rushing back to me

But with a grown up clarity

And here is where i stand
I want to be your friend
I want to make you happy
And know you think of me

I want to spend the hours
Talking until we’re tired
I want to make love to you
I want to feel you close

I want to hold onto the dream
That you could be the one
That we could spend the rest of time
Together and as one

But as it stands right now
I must forget it all
And worry about the simple next step
Which one of us is going to call

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

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December 24, 2015 0

This Nightmare Christmas Eve (12-24-2015)

This Nightmare Christmas Eve
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-24-2015)

Twas the night before sadness
Like I’ve never felt before
And the hurt that surrounds me
Has seldom been more

The tree I won’t place
Still stares in my face
As a constant reminder
Of the loss from this place

The stockings (just socks)
Are not hung anywhere
And I am feeling alone
Wondering who cares

Am I meant to suffer
As the snow is impending
To freeze off my love
And destroy this pretending

This holiday season
Burns it it’s own special way
And I curse this Christmas eve
And tomorrow just the same

Why place so much desire
In a heart that’s kept alone…
Some sick kind of joke?
From the leaders on thrones?

Twas the night before madness
As my mind self destructs
I won’t wake up tomorrow
…With a small bit of luck

Purchase A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y CD’S At:
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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(11-24-15)

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December 24, 2015 0

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