Doesn’t matter By: Shawn D. Petrie

Doesn’t matter
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-22-2000)

It simply doesn’t matter
It wont make any difference
The sun is going to rise tomorrow
If I live or die

It simply doesn’t matter
Whether or not i do my best
I only do what i think is right
Which means not too much at all

It simply doesn’t matter
In the sea of so many
Different shoes to fill but still
The lines go on forever

It simply doesn’t matter
Whether or not i feel the pain
Whether or not i end it all
The decision wont cause turmoil

It simply doesn’t matter
It simply will not matter
The decision is so futile
If i live or die

Would it be so easy
A striking through the silence
Questions come and go so easily
Because it simply doesn’t matter

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

My worth By: Shawn D. Petrie

My worth
By: Shawn D. Petrie (10-19-2006)

My insides are shaking
And my hands are now shaking
I say crazy things
And I push way too hard

Who could ever love me?

I get hurt so easily
I cry so easily
I loose sleep over little things
I frown all the time

Who could ever love me?

I mess up good things
Find ways to destroy relationships
I don’t know how or why
I continue to keep doing it

Who could ever love me?

Love myself?

This could be the answer, but
I hold no forgiveness for myself
To ever love myself
I cant even love me, so

Who could ever love me?

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

Mitigation By: Shawn d. Petrie

Mitigation
By: Shawn d. Petrie (6-21-1996)

Relief from a life
That’s endlessly black
No rest for this heart
In a story about love

The time will come
Relieve me of this work
Hold open the cell door
As I flee once and for all

Too many tear drops
Have fallen from my eyes
Time to relax
And try to forget the past

The greatest relief
Is now what I face
With a standing ovation
As I enter this heavenly place

My soul will cry out
As I break the locked chains
The laws of my father
Are overwritten in this land

The problems I had
When I was a mortal before
Now see so trivial
Now seen so small

Hidden in a pocket
For safe keeping
As I slowly lost hope
That this day would never come

This relief will change me
Will change my venomous life
I will no longer view it
As a loaded knife

With this mitigation I face
I can tell you it will be worth it
Because there is nothing more relieving
Than relief

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

IGNORANCE By: Shawn D. Petrie

IGNORANCE
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-5-1995)

Our future, no one to lead us
Who will be the next president?
Man, woman, both corrupted
God created the world, gave us a chance
To screw it up on a royal level

She is very impressionable, maybe some day
Never had a man as a leader
Killing machine-Leader of the pact
Can an immortal carry the weight?
Is there anyone out there, I don’t know

People are turned off by the money spent
Marches for the fighting,
No one knew what it meant
Excellent ideas, not enough funding for fun
You have to go out and raise your dead
I wonder what goes through there heads

32 million to burn in the election
What could you do to make things better
Kids on the street with no place to call home
No one takes notice to there cries
And the government covers it all with lies

Misunderstood as a group, created laws
To keep people away because of the children
They judge everyone the same
Just like every other kid they say
I realize hating is O.K.
If it gets you through the day

Some people are incapable of being civil
They think they can do whatever they want
They do it for everyone, hold the door
Until someone shows you what you deserve
People just do self centered, ignorant things

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-5-2016)

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February 5, 2016 0

Remember good – Remember bad By: Shawn D. Petrie

Remember good – Remember bad
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-10-2007)

Here i sit with my plans unraveled
And my dreams discarded
And my love disreguarded

Her i sit with this blank expression
And i am waiting
For the next contestant

And so it seems that the world is silent
And my soul is driven
From the flesh im wearing

And i cant stand all the lack of attention
And the touching im not getting
And i fear im sinking down

Into that place where i do not want to be
Far down i will fall
Where no one will notice me

All senses are lost
All love has abandoned my heart
I can no longer trust
And im despising this lust
That i once thought was love
Another lesson learned

This is where i will spend my life
Deep down inside
In this pit i dug

And this is where i will be alone
There will be no one
And i’ll go unnoticed

You can try but you’ll never reach me
And no one can teach me
Cause im all done learning

The more i know, the more i hurt
I dont want no more
So just shut the door

And walk away, forget what i said
That wasnt me
It was just the need talking

All feelings are lost
All smiles had turned to frowns
I can no longer see

Whats been bothering me
Cause the drugs are deep
And running through me

You made me cry
You made me hurt
You shoved my face
Right in the dirt

I tried to call
You weren’t there
You kept your distance
You played unfair

You only laughed
At how i tried
You shot me down
You crucified

You told your lies
You made it stick
You make me weak
You make me sick

You walked away
And left me here
You told me that
You didn’t care

You said some things
That washed away
The vows you took
That special day

And just like that
My life did change
I had to learn
To rearrange

The things i had
Before our time
Had to reclaim
All that was mine

And it is hard
But life goes on
Just listen to
A million songs

The love i lost
Is lost each day
And that is how
The world will stay

Some time has passed
Its hard to cry
With little thought
That i will die

I cant deny
That your still there
Inside my heart
And everywhere

But it is less
And less each day
And passing time
Takes pain away

I wont forget
Just what we had
Remember good
Remember bad

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-2-2016)

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February 2, 2016 0

Let me free By: Shawn D. Petrie

Let me free
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-20-2006)

What do you see
When you glance at me
Am i worth a second look
How could i measure up to you
So great and so strong

How long has it been since you opened up
Let something in
Theres more to life than whats in here
Im learning slow will you let me go

Whats just outside the door
Calls to me
Terrifies me
Get over me
Let me free

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-2-2016)

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February 2, 2016 0

My home By: Shawn D. Petrie

My home
By: Shawn D. Petrie (11-12-2006)

You made your way
Into my home
And you dug yourself
A place to lay

You made yourself at home
Then you left me

Alone

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-2-2016)

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February 2, 2016 0

LOVE, LIFE, AND DEATH By: Shawn D. Petrie

LOVE, LIFE, AND DEATH
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-24-1995)

Have you ever wondered why
Love comes and goes
Faith disappears
And guys are not supposed to cry

Death comes to life
Disguised as love
And all this comes
When defenses go numb

Love and relationships
Really don’t exist
Mind games and girls
Eat away at me

Life has love around
Love has death inside
But comes much later
As part of the plan

I am so tired
But I see no rest
Why do I choose
My paths not the best

I step on people I love
Loose faith in the end
I must stop the lies
All that I am hiding

I was told
You have got to believe / but I never believed them
Somehow I know the stories sunk in
And twisted into
Life as an evil friend

My mother cried today
She told me I was no good
It hurt to hear it
But I knew it was true

Punch a hole in the wall
Put a hole in my head
Sometimes I think they all want me dead

I love so much but hate myself
It’s not the only thing
I am the only one
I am lost in my love, life, and death
You’re lost because your heart is astray

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-2-2016)

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February 2, 2016 0

IMAGES By: Shawn D. Petrie

IMAGES
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-13-1994)

A couple of faces float
in the book of love in my mind
They stay for a while
but finally there graves are dug

Sometimes like now, something goes wrong
One of them will stick and stay for too long

And this once perfect love has become my pain
Inside my heart there is nothing but rain

Not family or friend, but a girl who said
She would stay with me until the end

She promised and lied but I still care
And now all I want is for her to be here

The girl of my dreams busted in and broke out
Now I am left to wonder what love is really about

I need her I breath her, I visualize in my sleep
But these angel eyed beauties were not for keeps

Still I love and I forgive but I cannot forget
For too long I will drown in my sea of regret

For too long this will last in a broken heart cage
Pondering next to a demoness of seduction and rage

But oh how I still remember, her warm after glow
Her arms open to me then turned to be cold

Her beautiful kiss, the kiss of death
And how I will always love her
and will never forget

But will always pray to

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(2-2-2016)

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February 2, 2016 0

Lost Recovery Systems By: Shawn D. Petrie

Lost Recovery Systems
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-14-1999)

A world of empty, hopeless rooms
Though filled with many faces
And these people who occupy these lairs
Consider them their happy places

So why do I feel the way I do?
For sure I am left out
Not having the strength to jump right in
And when I do they refuse me and shout

Why do these people who are one in the same
Seem so different from me?
Wanting only what should be wanted by all
But they have all lost the will to see

Every day I come to this place
To keep my lives momentum strong
Forever pushing to a certain end
When I die alone, everything will be wrong

How do I change, is there hope?
Maybe I don’t need what I am so sure I do
And if that’s the case, my life has no meaning
And it should just as well end
‘cause I’m already through

It’s just too bad that my view on life
Is that I will never find anyone that cares
And if by some chance I do,
they will be taken from me
One day no longer be there

What you did never out weighed the bad
You always made me feel so sad
But I will tell you something
From day one I saw it all coming

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(1-27-2016)

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January 27, 2016 0

Love And Friends By: Shawn D. Petrie

Love And Friends
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-6-2007)

A pretty face and a soft voice
A sexy beautiful body
Clouding my mind with a need
Uncontrollable feelings that confuse me

(That i should not consider love)

A warm touch
And holding each other close
A dream, a feeling, a need
Insatiable lust, and feelings of trust

(That i should not consider love)

Awaken the heart that feeds me
Make him see the truth
Teach him how to prothect himself
Show him the sings of things to come

(That i should not consider love)

The circle of pain that we cause ourselves
My self, my heart, my mind
Will we ever learn, will i ever learn
To reconginise and read the signs of life

(That i should not consider love)

Amd when she looks at me
I feel like i could sleep forever
And when i see her smile, hear her laugh
I so easily forget that this may not be true and it could be something

(That i should not consider love)

And while all of this is happening
Who can i lean on, who cares
Who is there, who do i see
Standing next to me, offering friendship

(I now see is the meaning of love)

And this is what truly matters
Not the fantasy or the dreams
But the ones that let me know they care
Every day and in subtle ways, proving to me

(There are other ways to show true love)

But what is love without touch
It still hurts so much
Learn to be strong and someday it will come
And I will know that it is right

When i can feel true friendship and true love

(Together all at once)