Just the same
By: Shawn D. Petrie (3-20-2000)
Beating my heart against the wall
Trying to push through
Standing on my final ground
There isn’t much else I can do
There is confusion inside my head
Am I who I say?
Have I been looking into my own eyes and
Lying to myself every day?
There is this constant conflict in my mind
Within my heart and my soul
Finally realizing no matter how hard I try
I will never reach my goals
If I claim to be nice
And say that this is true
It is going to take an army of soldiers
To even begin to convince you
And when it comes down to making love
I will loose all the cards from my hand
You will retreat and leave me confused and alone
And your false morality will take its stand
But in a similar situation with a guy who is blunt
Who is cold, distant and untrue
This is the filthy pig you let in your arms
And spend the night with you
You reach into them and find something to love
You look at me and turn away
He holds back emotions and I let mine show
But you don’t believe anything I say
These same girls that dream of a man
Who will gently sweep them off there feet
Settle for scum, take the trash
And go down on six inches of meat
I’m sick off the bullshit and all of the lies
The fucked up games that girls play
And this right here, right now
Will be my final day
Never again will I open myself
To a stranger no matter the length of time
That we have known each other because reality is
You cannot trust or change peoples minds
The easiest way for me to get girls
Is to act like a pig and not care
Starting right now I will harden my heart
And soon there will be a lot of options here
All of the games, the confusing rules
I need the instructions to play
And I will add some water to this bleeding heart
And mold it into a new as though it were clay
Maybe all I have been telling myself
Has long been my own personal game
I refuse to believe that they mirror me
But maybe I am just the same
F O L L O W A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y
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(12-28-15)
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