Anymore
By: Shawn Petrie (10-27-2006)
I look around at what is left
When everything good has ripped away
The space to fill is enormous
Its so dark and so cold
I touched the light
I once needed so badly
But it either dimmed down
Or got too bright and burnt up
And now there is nothing
I hear the voices around me
I hear the voices in my head
I know what I need to do
But i cannot take the steps
I was once so enveloped
In hate and pain and resentment
But for a time
You took it all away
I did my best to maintain the feelings
But your love was conditional
You had other motives
I could never have imagined
When we said forever
I felt something settle inside
Which was such a wonder feeling
I’d never had before
Along the way i forgot
Overlooked or maybe just couldn’t feel
That what we had was something
That could last forever
I really don’t know whose fault it is
All i feel is this pain
I feel there is no tomorrow
And yesterday is gone
Right now in this living
This mind is surly dying
And my heart hurts so much
I’m waiting for it to die
Maybe that’s what I’m here for
To always settle and to cry
So afraid to live
Terrified to die
How could you be my partner one day
Be by my side and promise forever
Together we slept and the mornings together
Then switch to the cold person you are
I didn’t offer much
But you were always there
You stood and sat and lied beside me
For what would be forever
I never knew until this moment
That forever has no meaning
And with this reality, cold and jagged
I feel no reason to go on,
To even try….anymore
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