If I had to By Shawn D. Petrie

If I had to
By Shawn D. Petrie (2-20-2006)

If I had to try
Any harder than i do
I would probably collapse
And i would not make it through

If i opened up my eyes
Any wider than i do
I would probably go blind
At the ugliness of truth

If i felt any more
Than i do right now
I would empty out my heart
Which you cannot allow

And if i got any angrier
And it all came to a head
The whole world would surly suffer
Until the day that i am dead

Just run away
Just say goodbye
It’s long since been over
There is nothing inside

You’ll never care
And really why should you
There is nothing left of me and
Nothing inside of you

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

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December 24, 2015 0

I’ll Be There By: Shawn D. Petrie

I’ll Be There
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-6-1999)

The blinding light on the brightest day
Is nothing compared to how you light up my soul
You take away my pain and sorrow
Warm up a world so cold

I have been watching the stars
Making my nightly wish and prayer
I would be so happy if you were my girl
I would forever love you and always be there

I think about you every day
Wonder where you are
But even when we are together
Still you seem so far

I just want to reach out and touch you
I want to hold you tight
I think of you when I wake
And before I sleep at night

You take away all the bad
With one look and one kiss
I want you to be part of me
That is my only wish

I am sitting there watching you
As you read these words from my heart
Come on baby change your mind
Lets make an awesome start

The love I feel for you is strong
Like I’ve never felt before
Open your arms and take me in
Let me through your hearts door

No words could ever describe
How much I care for you
And honest to god when I say I love you
You can be sure I really do

Take your time, clean up your past
I will wait for you, that is my plan
And until you tell me to go away
You own the heart of this man

You know exactly how I feel
What I want and how much I care
The soul of you is burned into mine
I will always be there

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

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December 24, 2015 0

I miss you all day By: Shawn D. Petrie

I miss you all day
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-8-2003)

Days go by but I will survive
The past seems like a dream
Wondering if that’s how I’m living now
A tear drops by the chill of your screams

Thinking of people that I have loved
The ones who have stayed and the ones I have lost
Ready to give up on the ones I have now
And get you back at any cost

I know that all seems wrong
And for sure not how I should live
Maybe it’s because you hold a part of me
That I foolishly decided to give

Seeing as how you said that you loved me
I thought that you would always be there
But one day I wasn’t paying attention
Turned around and you weren’t there

All of the people I have known
And in my own fathers raised hand
I have got to know before I go
Is this really an example of a man

Happiness has surly passed me by
I don’t know which way to turn
Realizing that any path I choose
Will surly leave me to burn

When I call you on the telephone
It’s always the same, you’re never home
Out on the town, another fun night
You left me alone with my pain and my fright

Like is something we must choose to live
Even though we are already alive
But what can I do when I offer my love
But in return yours is always denied

I miss you and I don’t know what else to say
When were not together I miss you all day

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-24-2015)

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December 24, 2015 0

HURT By: Shawn D. Petrie

HURT
By: Shawn D. Petrie (6-13-1994)

I HATE MY LIFE

I HATE MY JOB

I HATE MY FRIENDS

THEY THINK I’M A SLOB

I HATE ALL KINDS OF FOOD

I EVEN HATE YOU

I HURT INSIDE

‘CAUSE ALL THINGS I HATE

WON’T GO AWAY

FOREVER THEY’LL STAY

I HURT INSIDE

‘CAUSE PROBLEMS CONTROL

THEY REOCCUR WON’T GO AWAY

I FEEL NO LOVE

NO ONE TO HUG

NO ONE TO KISS

YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT

I HURT INSIDE ‘CAUSE

I’M SICK OF THIS LIFE

I HATE THE WORLD

I HATE MY LIFE

I HATE TO REVEAL

THE FACTS THAT HIT HARD

I HATE SO MUCH

THAT IT HURTS TO BE ALIVE

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-23-2015)

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December 24, 2015 0

I miss you By: Shawn D. Petrie

I miss you
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-30-2000)

A phone call reminds me of you
Where could you be?
I still love you

A shadow reminds me of you
Are you there?
I still need you

The pain reminds me of you
Will you continue to hurt me?
I still want you

The music reminds me of you
This feeling makes me cry
I still cherish you

The birds remind me of you
I hope you still want me
I still believe you

The night reminds me of you
How you left me out in the cold
I tried so hard to still love you

The sun reminds me of you
How your beauty burnt me down but
I tried so hard to still love you

My reflection in the mirror reminds me of you
In my eyes I see the one you gave away and
I try so hard to still love you

This road reminds me of you
Left at one end while you ran towards the other
Standing alone I still loved you

In my dreams I see you
I try so hard to still love you
I guess that I still do

Realizing my loss brings me sorrow
I wish I could tell you I still love you
So much to this day it still hurts I still miss you

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-23-2015)

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December 23, 2015 0

I was on your mind By: Shawn D. Petrie

I was on your mind
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-22-2004)

When I first met you
I didn’t know what to expect
But I know I wanted to see you again
And I know I wanted to be your friend

When we went out
For our first time
I felt a special connection
And was drawn into your direction

I soon realized you felt the same
You were interested in me
And you wanted to see me another time
And you said that I was on your mind

We fell out
It was out very last time
We lost that special connection
I was no longer on your mind

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-23-2015)

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December 23, 2015 0

I want to love life By: Shawn D. Petrie

I want to love life
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-25-2007)

I want to love life
I want to love life
I want to give everything that i got
To make it right

I want to love life
I want to live life
I waiting to long to make it alone
And start all over again

I want to find love
I want to find love
I want to feel an insatiable fire
I know i can never put out

I want to find love
I want to make love
I want to make the world stop on its heels
While you and i spin our wheels

I used to be wise
Thought i knew the answers
Ignored my problems
And they wouldn’t go away

I used to try
Much harder than i could
To make it in this world
And find you

But where are you now
I have searched for so long
Theres been too many distractions
And the time is all gone

I need your touch and
Ineed your love
I need your soft body and
I need to feel your love

I want to love again
I want to feel that love again
I need to feel wanted
I need to know im needed

I want to be appreciated
And told that i am special
The look thats in the eyes
Of a woman so much in love

This is what i need
And this is how i feel
Walking blind with little knowledge
Of how to reach this goal

Spending so much money
Wasting so much time
Dreaming of a future
Together, yours and mine

I need you now
I need you tomorrow
To know you’ll be there
And believe that you care

I crave the trust
And im filled with lust
And i cry for you
I wish i could meet you

You are out there
Waiting for me
Feeling a connection
That you dont understand

Holding out hope
Because you know im alive
And you know that ill try
To find you

Take yo uin my arms
Take care of you
Give you everything you need
Give you everything you want

Hold you when you cry
Laugh when you are smiling
Look into your eyes
And the fire burns us both

Our touch is mesmerizing
And your smell is appetizing
And you want me so
Just as much as i want you

This is my dream
This is my life
Its the only thing i need
Its the only thing i want

I want to love you
I want to hold you
I want to keep you
But i still need to find you

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-23-2015)

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December 23, 2015 0

I HAVE BEEN USED By: Shawn D. Petrie

I HAVE BEEN USED
By: Shawn D. Petrie (7-14-1994)

MY FRIEND I HAVE BEEN USED
I HAVE BEEN LIED TO AND ABUSED

MY SOUL HAS BEEN STEPPED ON
DISREGARDED AND NOW I AM THROUGH

THROUGH WITH THIS LIFE
THE LIFE OF THE UNLOVED
THE SOUL IS NOT DESIGNED
TO HOLD THIS MUCH PAIN

IN ANY OF THE TIMES
I HAVE HAD WITH THE LOST
IT IS GONE AND I CAN’T FORGET

MY LIFE IN WHOLE
DIRTY AND COLD
I NEED TO SHUT OUT A WORLD OF SUCH COLD

I NEED TO SHUT OUT THE PAIN AND THE HELL
THE PEOPLE AND THE LIES AND THE HATE

AS I TRY AND SLEEP INTO HE NIGHT
SOMETIMES I CRY, WONDER WHY
THIS WORLD HAS TO BE SO COLD

IN THE END ALL I HAVE IS MY FRIENDS
AND FOR THEM I MAY HAVE A FULL LIFE

BUT WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE
I AM SO ALONE WITH SO MUCH TO LOOSE
I MAY NEVER GET THE GIRL IN MY HEART

SO THE WRAP UP WILL GO
THIS WORLD IS SO COLD
AND IT WILL NOT LAST VERY LONG

AND THEN THE PEOPLE WILL REGRET
ALL THE HELL THEY DISHED OUT
MAYBE THEN THEY WILL KNOW

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-21-2015)

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December 22, 2015 0

How much it hurts By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-25-2007)

How much it hurts
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-25-2007)

The thoughts of complication make the world feel so deserted
The words I try to speak come out all wrong
At times i have the answers but there quickly lost
And i am only left with more questions, the pain is so unreal

I don’t know why you left me, in the eyes of another man
You must be his angel, once you were mine
I tried so hard to be happy, you kept much pain at bay
But there was too much and it was hard to hold it all inside each day

But you were my wife, i guess you still are
The words we spoke talked of forever
And i still feel that way today
Even though i want to punish you for all you took away

I know now that i have hurt you
I know now the tings that i did wrong
I never knew it at the time, i was immature, confused
But the pain you caused me was intentional, you meant what you said

You left me with so many memories some good some bad
The bad ones make me cry and the good ones remind me
Ill never have those times back again
And that brings on a real intense defeating agony

I wish you could feel how much it hurts
And i wish you could heal how much it hurts
With your presence and an apology would it all be ok
Or would the pain override the loss and would i turn away

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-21-2015)

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December 21, 2015 0

It’s Time To Check Out By: Shawn D. Petrie

It’s Time To Check Out
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-20-2015)

it’s time to check out
the things I don’t know
the I heart I can’t show
the darkness below

it’s time to check out
the eyes that won’t see
the pain that’s in me
for a life that can’t be

it’s time to check out
a heart full of pain
my eyes full of rain
too much hurt in my brain

it’s time to check out
my hands which are shaking
this life which is taking
too long to be taken

it’s time to check out
the pains overwhelming
with these lies I keep telling
myself

that I’ll be ok

I’ll never be ok
so it’s
time to check out

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-21-2015)

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December 21, 2015 0

Greed By: Shawn D. Petrie

Greed
By: Shawn D. Petrie (1-12-1995)

What does it mean to be happy?
No one is ever really happy
They always want more and more and more
When will it stop, there is only so much out there

They have taken everything away from me
No I am an empty cavity
With nothing to take, nothing to give
Now I am lifeless, look what you did

Do you not even care how selfish you are
I’ve lived with nothing all of my life
And I’ll have nothing when I die
How can I go on

I don’t know how I even get up in the morning
I can’t stand this hell I feel
I now have forgotten possessions
And opened myself up to depression

And I don’t know how to end this
Because it goes on forever
I will never get any rest
But what does it mean to be happy?

I am a bad example
What does it mean to be pissed off?
The answer lies within my blackened soul
I do not care about anything anymore

Do not even consider that I do

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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-21-2015)

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December 21, 2015 0

FREE FALL By: Shawn D. Petrie

FREE FALL
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-18-2001)

I am sitting alone
and ready to cry
I wish I was immortal
I wish I could fly

Crosses are hung
for luck they will give
I wish I was perfect
in happiness live

My stomach hurts,
my hearts broke in two
I wish I was happy
but wishes never come true

You walked away
left me here to die
You didn’t turn around
to see if I’d survive

The one I love fully rejects me
I wish I could lock my heart inside of me
My soul is in pain and it’s spreading all over
Just one happy life I wanted to show her

How do I go on
with this depression inside
All I do is sit alone,
all I do is cry

I wish I was perfect
As perfect as you
I wish I could forget you
But wishes never come true