Keeping me alive
By: Shawn D. Petrie (12-7-2006)


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Feed off me
Take what you can see
Breathe within my home
Never be alone

As long as you have me
You have so much control
Deception is your crutial key
To keeping me alive


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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-30-2015)

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It’s supposed to hurt
By: Shawn D. Petrie (2-6-2007)


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I begin to panic
Then i start to think the worst
Landing here, being alone
Not living my life with you

If you are not ready
I need to know right now
I cannot let you know
Just whats been on my mind

I will not call today
I need to give it a few days
And let you think of me
Give you time to think of me

But will you be thinking of me
Or will your time just pass
Like a careless caress
As you pass through life, an angel i can’t catch

I want to hold you close
I want you to love me
To need me, and tell me so
And never let me go

Trying to forget the past
Except for the lessons learned
You not giving me any signs
That you are excited about me

I cannot wait forever
I’ve waited seven years
If your feeling can never show
Then it is time for me to give up

Because if you dont want me now
I know that you never will
That i must accept
Swallow the bitter pill

But if you have changed
I know that i can show you
A life full of happiness
And id die to keep you happy

Believing for a second
That fate and true love can exist
If we were meant to be together
This time you wont resist


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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-30-2015)

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DISTANT HOPE
By: Shawn D. Petrie (4-26-1999)


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THE TEARS BUILD UP ALL AROUND MY EYES
BUT AS THE DAYS GO BY I FIND IT HARDER TO CRY
THE KIND OF LOVE I GET IS NOT WHAT I NEED
WHAT I NEED IS A LOVE THAT WILL SLOW THE BLEED

I HEAR A LOT OF BULLSHIT
“JUST WAIT YOUR TIME WILL COME”
I ASK MYSELF WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT
“DO YOU THINK I AM THAT DUMB?”

I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE
SO WHY SHOULD I TRY TO CARE?
WHO FEELS LOVE AND TOO SO ALONE
WHEN I AM NEITHER HERE NOR THERE?

THE PAIN BUILDS UP INSIDE MY SOUL
MY EMOTIONS ALL RUN TO COLD
IT IS ALL BULLSHIT, WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD
AND I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND OLD

I WISH I WAS DEAD RIGHT NOW
I WISH I DIDN’T WANT WHAT I NEED
I HOPE IF THERE REALLY IS A GOD
HE WILL TAKE ME AWAY

I WISH I WAS DEAD
I WISH I WAS DEAD
I WISH I COULD CRY
I FEEL SO ALONE
IT HURTS TO BE ALIVE

I WISH I WOULD JUST DIE
I WISH I WAS DEAD
I WISH I COULD ERASE
THE MEMORY FROM MY HEAD


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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-30-15)

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Just the same
By: Shawn D. Petrie (3-20-2000)


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Beating my heart against the wall
Trying to push through
Standing on my final ground
There isn’t much else I can do

There is confusion inside my head
Am I who I say?
Have I been looking into my own eyes and
Lying to myself every day?

There is this constant conflict in my mind
Within my heart and my soul
Finally realizing no matter how hard I try
I will never reach my goals

If I claim to be nice
And say that this is true
It is going to take an army of soldiers
To even begin to convince you

And when it comes down to making love
I will loose all the cards from my hand
You will retreat and leave me confused and alone
And your false morality will take its stand

But in a similar situation with a guy who is blunt
Who is cold, distant and untrue
This is the filthy pig you let in your arms
And spend the night with you

You reach into them and find something to love
You look at me and turn away
He holds back emotions and I let mine show
But you don’t believe anything I say

These same girls that dream of a man
Who will gently sweep them off there feet
Settle for scum, take the trash
And go down on six inches of meat

I’m sick off the bullshit and all of the lies
The fucked up games that girls play
And this right here, right now
Will be my final day

Never again will I open myself
To a stranger no matter the length of time
That we have known each other because reality is
You cannot trust or change peoples minds

The easiest way for me to get girls
Is to act like a pig and not care
Starting right now I will harden my heart
And soon there will be a lot of options here

All of the games, the confusing rules
I need the instructions to play
And I will add some water to this bleeding heart
And mold it into a new as though it were clay

Maybe all I have been telling myself
Has long been my own personal game
I refuse to believe that they mirror me
But maybe I am just the same


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– A U G U S T W I L L D E C A Y –
(12-28-15)

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